Love Is Tricky
by son145
Summary: Spencer struggles with understanding the difference between true love and infatuation. An ultimate love story.
1. The Beginning

Love is Tricky

"Spencer, hurry up or you'll make your brothers late for school too!" Paula Carlin called up the stairs to her sixteen year old daughter.

"Sorry mom" Spencer Carlin responded rushing downstairs in jean shorts and a tank top "I'm not used to this absurdly hot weather I couldn't find anything to wear! This shirt is from 7th grade"

"Thats obvious" Mrs. Carlin said, her eyes taking in the frayed jeans and the two sizes too small shirt that hugged Spencer's curves a little too well. "Maybe you can be late because there is no way you're wearing that to school on your first day! We just moved to LA we don't need people judging us yet"

"Mom, it's LA" Spencer rolled her eyes as she grabbed an orange from the bowl on the counter.

"Spence I really think th-" but before she could finish Mrs. Carlin was interrupted by the loud sounding of a horn.

"See I can't change. Glenn's already about to have a coronary from being away from all the "California Ten Girls" Spencer mocked her brother's obsession with girls. He acts like he's never seen a woman before. "And you know Clay is dying to get to Chemistry on time" She joked referencing her adopted brother Clay's infatuation with all things school related. "And I am DYING to get out of this heat." Spencer called as she made her way to the door.

"Your father is out right now talking to the AC repair men it'll be fixed this afternoon so don't expect to wear those clothes much longer!" Mrs. Carlin called as Spencer scuttled out the door with a mumbled "Love you"

"Finally" Glenn Carlin said anxiously rubbing his hands together "I have arrived ladies"

Spencer rolled her eyes as she watched her brother Glenn interact with three cheerleaders. He was talking animately and she could only imagine what sort of disgusting pick up line he could be using right now.

"I never understood how he does that" Clay voiced from Spencer's right. "He's always so calm around girls and I freeze up whenever I see someone remotely attractive"

"Hey! Are you saying I'm not attractive!" Spencer joked playfully punching her older brother in the arm.

"Haha of course I'm not. Although it'd be weird if I froze up around you! I mean you are my sister!"

"Haha I know, don't worry! I was just kidding" Spencer said flashing a warm smile.

"Alright well I have class so I'll see you at home Spence" Clay said as he rounded the corner to one of King's High's many hallways.

"Damn, this place is big" Spencer thought running a hand through her blond hair. "I wish I had some sense of where I was going." Right as the words left her mouth Spencer spotted a tall slender brunette girl making her way right towards Spencer.

She was wearing a mini skirt and a hot pink top. She had her eyes locked on Spencer and a somewhat welcoming smile on her face. "Ashley Davies" The girl said extending a manicured hand for Spencer to shake. "I've been assigned to show you around and make you feel at home here um, what was your name again?"

"Spencer Carilin" Spencer said raising her eyes at Ashley "And how did you know who I was?" she asked as she released her hand.

"It's protocol for all ambassadors. We get a picture of the applicant's face and we need to "Make them feel warm and welcome, so they don't feel pushed aside in our community" Ashley said in a mocking tone. "We basically need to stalk your life so we know who you are immediately. But clearly I didn't do the best job because I forgot your name. I just remembered your face."

"Well good job" Spencer giggled "I was just thinking about how much I needed some help"

"Cool because that's what I'm here for. And trust me you lucked out getting me. I'm just doing this because my mother's new boyfriend decided I should be more involved in school. So it was this or math club, and i can't do math. So be grateful you could've been stuck with Carolyn Collins" Ashley jerked a finger toward a girl in an ankle length pale pink skirt complimented with a starch white turtle neck.

"How the hell is she not dying of the heat?" Spencer questioned as she watched Carolyn bound over towards a frightened looking girl a basket of muffins in hand.

"Because shes secretly satan, so she thrives on heat." Ashley suggested shrugging her shoulders. "Seriously though that cheery goody good attitude has to be an act. Nobody cooks for the homeless, cleans for the elderly and bakes for her friends birthdays with THAT good of a nature." Ashley spat as she eyed Carolyn. "Anyway, since I'm supposed to show you around come with me"

Ashley grabbed Spencer's hand as they weaved their way through the crowd.

"We've got about five minutes before homeroom starts so i'll show you the social life of King High."

Ashley had stopped right in front of dozens of green picnic tables strewn with teenagers on the quad.

"These" she motioned to guys in varsity jackets hitting each other in the arm. "Are the mindless jocks". Spencer glanced over to the jock table just in time to see her brother smacking hands with his new best friends.

Spencer could hear Glenn shout "Aiden, my man" as he settled next to a dark haired boy. Spencer groaned inwardly at her brother's stupidity and followed closely behind Ashley.

"Drama chicks" She waved a hand at a bunch of girls dressed in black. All of them had their heads buried in a script and didn't even acknowledge the other's presence.

"Band geeks" Ashley sighed as a loud trumpet pierced the air. Spencer winced at Ashley's dismissive nature. When Spencer was younger she used to play a mean violin.

"And finally" Ashley paused as the unmistakable scent of Victoria Secret body spray found Spencer's nostrils. "The cheerleaders."

It was like all time and motion came to a screeching halt. These girls were the most beautiful, in shape girls she had ever seen. All of their faces were flawless and outfits perfect. They were whispering amongst themselves and that's when Spencer noticed a girl sitting slightly away from the group.

She was perched on top of the picnic table and bore all resemblance of a cheerleader but wasn't partaking in their gossip. She had her headphones plugged into her i-pod and she was lightly singing along to a song Spencer couldn't quite make out.

The girl moved a lock of blonde hair from her eyes and Spencer couldn't breathe. Spencer took in the girls piercing green eyes that had now locked her own blue ones. Her eyes scoured the girls thin body and toned legs. She couldn't stop starring at this breathtakingly beautiful girl until Ashley waved a hand in front of her face.

"Jeeze Spencer, I didn't realize you wanted to become a cheerleader."

"Sorry" Spencer replied snapping out of her trance "I've just never seen so many pretty girls together. It's kinda intimidating"

"Oh" Ashley's voice softened "I understand" she continued placing a hand on Spencer's shoulder. "But lets go or we're going to be late for homeroom."

"Right" Spencer said shooting one last fleeting glimpse at the cheerleading table. To her surprise the beautiful blonde was still staring at Spencer, a slight smile playing on her lips. She lifted one hand in the air, waved and Spencer's heart immediately melted.


	2. Problems With Ashley

"Alright, Alright settle down class" a middle aged woman said as she waved the class to their seats. "It's the first day of your Junior year, meaning A LOT of work will be.."

But before she could finish her sentence the blonde girl from the quad walked in. "Sorry Mrs. Appleton." The girl said as she walked towards the only empty chair in the room, conveniently located to Spencer's immediate left.

"Ms. Duarte, you know I don't allow tardiness but since it's the first day I'll be generous." She exclaimed. "Like I was saying Junior year..."

"Hey" the blonde whispered to Spencer as Mrs. Appleton droned on. "My names Madison Duarte, are you new here?"

"Um" Spencer stammered trying to remember her own name.

"Yeah, I'm her ambassador. Her names Spencer and I'm trying to show her the decent side of King High" Ashley stepped in with an obvious look of dislike etched into her face.

"Oh" Madison said her smile faltering. "I didn't realize."

"It's okay" Spencer chimed in "I could use all the help I can get it's a really big campus."

Madison smiled at Spencer, while Ashley huffed at their conversation.

"Well in that case let me see your class schedule" Madison scooted her desk a little closer and Spencer's heart lifted.

_I'm just happy because I'm making friends, thats all. This is nothing like the Sarah incident back home. _Spencer thought as she riffled through her sky blue back pack for her class list.

"Um, so Algebra II at 8, English III at 9:15 , Global Science at 10:30, Lunch at 11:30, American History at 12:30 and Psychology at 2" Spencer reeled to Madison ticking each off on her finger as she went.

"Nice" Madison claimed now searching through her own back pack. "Yep, it looks like we've got Psych and Lunch together"

"Awesome" Ashley mumbled. Her head was buried in a notebook and she was writing fervently.

"It IS awesome" Spencer remarked ignoring Ashley's incessant grumblings.

"Cool" Madison said as the bell sounded "I guess I'll see you at Lunch!" Spencer watched as Madison left the room and she couldn't help but smile.

"Ashley?" Spencer called looking around the room for her guide. But the only thing in the room was old Mrs. Appleton and a few dozen empty desks.

Mrs. Appleton looked up from her desk and noticed Spencer standing in the middle of the room.

"Do you have a problem um" Mrs. Appleton started scanning a piece of paper in her hands "Ms. Carlin?"

"Yeah, I was wondering if you could tell me where Algebra II with Dr. Rosen is?"

"Take a left and it should be the first door on your right sweety" Mrs. Appleton cooed as she turned to erase the notes she had made on the board during homeroom.

"Thanks" Spencer mumbled as she rushed out the room._ I guess Ashley just forgot she was supposed to show me to my class. She seemed pretty upset when I talked to Madison. I hope she's not upset. I mean there's no reason for her to be angry. _Spencer reasoned as she entered her Algebra class.

She looked around and finally spotted a free seat near the window. Spencer made her way over and settled cautiously into the seat. She always hated picking a seat in class on the first day because back in Ohio wherever you sat on the first day became your assigned seat. Since Spencer didn't know anybody at King High yet she sat, closed her eyes and prayed she wasn't making a mistake.

"Oh, so you made it to class. Madison show you?" a voice interrupted Spencer's worry and she opened her eyes.

"Ashley? I waited for you after homeroom I couldn't find you anywhere so I had Mrs. Appleton direct me. Is everything okay?"

But before Madison could answer Mr. Rosen strode into the classroom and placed his brief case on the desk.

"Today" He began to address the class as he fixed his purple tie "We will be reviewing our summer math packet. Please have a TI-84 calculator on your desk along with the summer packet." Mr. Rosen sat back down in his swivel chair and started to call attendance.

Spencer flipped open her lime green notebook and tore a page from the front. She began to scribble: **Ashley, did I do something to offend you?. **She folded the paper and slid it over to Ashley's desk.

Ashley looked disgruntled by Spencer interrupting her intense concentration on peeling off her nail polish. She looked down at the note and then scrawled a response as Mr. Rosen called out "Anderson"

**Yes, clearly you befriended the worst person in this hellacious highschool. **

_**But why do you say that? Did Madison ever do anything to you?**_

"Baker"

_**No I'm just a psyco path that hates her for no reason.**_

"Benson"

"_**I'm sorry, what'd she do to make you hate her so much?"**_

"Carlin" Spencer just finished writing and threw her hand in the air immediately saying "Here" earning a smile from Mr. Rosen. She then slid the paper back over to Ashley.

"Carter"

"_**Why do you care?"**_

"Davies" Ashley gave a slight flick of her wrist to the teacher as she passed her note to Spencer.

_**Because I don't want to lose a friend on the first day. And maybe if I know the story I can understand where you're coming from.**_

"Dennison" the boy Glenn had smacked hands with raised one lazy arm, as if he had something better to do then review algebra problems for the next hour.

**Fine.**_**See that boy over by the door? Aiden Dennison? He and I used to be best friends. Madison, Aiden and I used to hang out constantly. We were basically inseparable. Then two years ago when I was 15 Madison started dating Aiden. It was so sudden and so unexpected."**_

"Farley"

_**So wait, I don't understand. What was the problem?**_

"Grant"

_**The problem was that she started excluding me from plans. And I understand that. They needed couple time but it just really hurt to go from having someone around constantly, always there for you to having literally no one. Aidan and Madison were my only friends. And if you haven't noticed I haven't done a good job in getting any other friends. And they knew everything about me, it always shocked me how she could just walk away...and Aidan. **_

"Jennings"

_**I'm so sorry Ashley. I didn't realize she hurt you like that, but maybe it was unintentional.**_ Spencer struggled with writing the next few words as the teacher kept calling off names. Finally she settled on _**I don't want to hurt you, and I understand you don't want to be friends with her. But I don't want to alienate anyone my first day and she was nice. So I hope it's okay if i'm friends with both of you because you seem really cool too.**_

"Nash"

_**I get it. **_Ashley said as she placed the note onto Spencer's desk. Her hand brushed Spencer and she looked into her eyes, before slowly returning her gaze to her own desk. Mr. Rosen had finished taking attendance and was now cracking open his 20 year old text book.

Spencer nudged Ashley and gave her a small smile. Ashley smiled back and they both began to focus on their summer math packet.

**authors note: Please don't kill me for having Spencer be interested in Madison! Just following the story line and keep an open mind! I've a few twists and turns set up. So I hope you enjoy! Thanks for everyone who reviewed and please continue to :)**


	3. This is bad, really bad

**AN: Hey guys I'm really sorry I just realized I uploaded chapter four before chapter three! I hope this doesn't confuse anyone! I'm sorry but hey at least it's another update haha! Thanks everyone for review I really love reading what you have to say!**

"And thats the reason why we must all be concerned about the Salmon's swimming pattern" Mrs. Zachary said as she looked at the clock. "Well it's 11:30 I'm off to Lunch I hope you are all as well!" She spoke cheerily as she picked up a brown bag and waddled into the hallway.

Spencer rubbed her eyes and walked out of the classroom. She had spent the last hour watching a movie on swimming patterns of Salmon. So naturally that meant once Mrs. Zacahary dimmed the lights Spencer opened her notebook and began to write a letter to her oldest friend Jamie back home in Ohio. She hadn't been able to talk to Jamie in two weeks because she was in between jobs and hadn't been able to pay her cell phone bill. Her parents refused to chip in because they felt "cell phones are intrusive to family life". So Spencer had to settle on writing a letter to explain all of her emotions.

Spencer always found writing to be therapeutic because it was an easy way to track emotions. With everything written down it wasn't hard to actually understand the root of all problems and Spencer was pretty certain she knew what the root of her problems were.

"Spencer, wait up!" Spencer turned around to see Madison smiling broadly at her. "I thought we could eat lunch together today. Considering you're new and all."

"That'd be great! Thanks" Spencer said as she felt the blood rushing to her cheeks and looked directly at the ground to avoid Madison's gaze.

"It's this way" Madison said as she reached for Spencer's hand. Spencer interlocked their fingers and couldn't help but feel her heart skip as she allowed Madison to lead her to lunch.

_I can't be thinking like this again. It must be because I like to be close to people. I can't be...no, no never. It's not possible. I find tons of guys attractive like...Aiden. Aiden. _Spencer's stomach dropped as she remembered exactly who Aiden was dating...

"And here's our table" Madison said as she set her tray down at an empty table a few spaces away from every one else.

"How exclusive" Spencer joked. "And thanks for waiting for me while the chicken was being broiled! You could've sat down and I would've found you later."

"It's no big deal!" Madison said twisting her pasta with her fork and placing it into her mouth. "It happens. Anyway, tell me about yourself. Any boyfriends? Where are you from and all that!"

Spencer tried to keep her hands from shaking recognizing they were only a few inches from Madison. She wondered if she could "accidentally" brush their fingers together.

Spencer shook her head attempting to rid that absurd thought from her mind. "Well, I lived in a small town in Ohio. My mom and dad moved me and my two brothers out here because my mother got a well paying job as a surgeon." Spencer took a sip of her water and continued. "I don't have a boyfriend, but there are some cute guys out here" She added hoping she sounded sincere. And she was being sincere...at least she thought she was.

"Who are your brothers?" Madison asked looking directly into Spencer's eyes. Madison's gaze was so intense Spencer felt like Madison was looking into her soul. It made her slightly uncomfortable so she shifted her eyes.

"Glenn and Clay. Glenn plays basketball."

"Oh right I think I saw him. Girl he is cute!" Madison said sticking a fork full of salad into her mouth.

"Ew! Thats my brother!" retorted Spencer "And anyway don't you have a boyfriend!" Spencer added raising an eye brow in hopes to sound casual.

Madison ran a hand through her hair. "Ashley told you I'm assuming. But, yeah Aidan and I have been dating for two years now. He's really a sweet guy and I feel so terrible about what happened with Ash. She was a great friend to me." Madison looked at something in the distance and seemed to be lost in her thoughts.

Spencer took advantage of Madison's zone out time to admire her features. She was absolutely stunning. There was something about this girl that made Spencer want to know everything about her. She exuded confidence and uniqueness that was hard to find. Spencer noticed countless boys starring at Madison as she ate her lunch. She had a feeling Madison was the girl that every guy wanted and every girl wanted to be...or maybe even some girls wanted her as well.

"Anyway," Madison said breaking the silence. "Tell me more about you!"

Spencer was blown away by Madison's sincerity. She'd never had someone pay such attention to her when she spoke.

"Haha there's not much to tell!" Spencer urged. Madison lowered her fork in response and stuck out her upper lip. She dropped her eyes and said "Pleeeeease" in the cutest voice Spencer had ever heard.

"Fine Fine" Spencer giggled. "I have a best friend named Jamie. She knows more about me than anyone. We've been close since kindergarden. She doesn't have a phone though so it sucks not being able to talk to her"

"What would you talk to her about now" Madison probed her hand lingering dangerously close to Spencer's. Spencer noticed how close their hands were but was afraid to look down just in case Madison would realize and move her hand away.

"Um, just the transition to a new school, making friends and stuff." Spencer rambled nervously.

"Well" Madison moved her hand so it was resting on top of Spencer's "If you can't reach Jamie and you want to talk to me let me give you my number. I'd love to talk to you"

Madison opened her white clutch and pulled out her cell phone. "Here add yourself" she said as she handed the phone to Spencer. Their hands touched for a second longer than appropriate.

Spencer smiled inwardly and was amazed that she hadn't died from happiness yet. She quickly plugged in her number and name and handed the phone back to Madison.

"I'll call you later tonight. Lunch is ending now" Madison and Spencer both stood and threw out their trash. Madison leaned in for a hug and Spencer couldn't help but breathe in her intoxicating scent.

"See ya" Madison called as she walked down the hall way and out of sight leaving a stunned and breathless Spencer stranded on the quad incapable of moving.

_This is bad. _Spencer thought _Really, really bad._

Ms. Issac had just dismissed the class from Psychology a few minutes late and Spencer was walking through the hall ways very confused. She was supposed to meet Glenn to see when he got out of practice but he was nowhere to be found. Spencer rounded the corner into the parking lot and she spotted Ashley waving from her porsche.

"Hey" Spencer said as she made her way towards Ashley.

"Hey. How was your first day?" Ashley said leaning against the side of her car.

"Okay, I guess as good as school can get" Spencer smiled and Ashley returned the gesture.

"So" Ashley started looking around the parking lot "Do you have a ride home? Or were you planning to brave the highway on foot?"

"Glenn's supposed to give me a ride. I was actually just looking for him because I've no idea when or where practice even IS let alone when it's over. This place has like 3 gyms."

"Haha well then hop in" Ashley said as she walked to the other side of the car and opened the passenger seat. "I'll be your driver for the day" Ashley bowed and motioned for Spencer to get in the car.

"Really? Thanks! Let me just text Glenn and tell him I've got a ride." Spencer took her blackberry from her pocket and typed a quick message to Glenn.

"You've a blackberry?" Ashley questioned "This means we have to be BBM friends. Type in your pin." Ashley demanded, taking her own blackberry out of the center console in her car and handing it to Spencer. "And while you're at it I might as well have your number" Ashley suggested.

"True, very true" Spencer remarked barely listening. She was so excited she was getting to drive around LA in a porsche and not have to sit in a sweaty gym all day.

"Alright all done" Spencer handed Ashley her cell phone back "I'll text you so you have my number!"

"Great" said Ashley with sincerity. "So lets tour this city" She said as she backed out of her parking space a little too fast and sped out of the lot way too fast.

_Oh man_ Spencer thought _this is going to end up bad, really bad_ she mused as she buckled her seat belt and allowed Ashley to show her LA.


	4. 21 Questions

**AN: hey guys, so I have a few chapters written out already so I'll be updating every 3-4 days. It's a pretty long story! So enjoy and please review and tell me what you think! Thanks : ) **

Three hours later Ashley's Porsche came to a skidding halt right outside of Spencer's house.

Ashley leaned in and hugged Spencer tightly. Spencer reciprocated the hug and thanked Ashley for "one of the best days she's had in a while".

Spencer got out of the car and walked up to the door in complete bliss. She was so happy she wouldn't ever have to wait for Glenn again after school. Earlier when they were walking down the boardwalk in Venice Beach Ashley had offered to take Spencer home from school every day. Spencer quickly obliged and bought Ashley a whole bag of cotton candy to show her appreciation.

When Spencer reached the door she looked back and waved at Ashley who was waiting for her to get inside. Ashley waved back blew Spencer a kiss and sped off down the street.

"Spencer, is that you?" Paula asked carrying a plate of food in her hand.

"Yeah mom, I got a ride home with my friend Ashley so I didn't have to wait for Glenn."

"Well Glenn's already home. I'm just glad you're safe. Sit down your father is serving dinner now." Paula instructed Spencer as she placed the food on Spencer's placemat.

"Mexican tonight family!" Arthur Carlin singsonged as he rounded the corner from the kitchen and placed the meal in the center of the table. "Dig in!"

"Ahem, not before grace is said" Paula corrected Arthur and she grabbed Clay and Arthur's hand.

"Right" Arthur mumbled as Paula said a quick grace praising God for all this food.

"So, how was everyone's first day!" Arthur asked raising a burrito to his mouth.

One by one Clay, Glenn and Spencer all detailed the exact contents of their day. It ranged from how many girl's numbers Glenn had gotten, to how many classes Clay felt prepared in, to exactly what Spencer did with this "Ashley girl".

Near the end of dinner Spencer felt her phone vibrating from her pocket. She slid it out and looked at the caller Id.

"Madison Duarte!" Spencer's heart jumped as she saw who was calling.

"May I be excused? I've a lot of homework" Spencer didn't even wait for an answer as she bounded up to her room, closed the door and answered the phone on the last ring.

"Hey Madison what's up" Spencer asked taking quiet breathes in an attempt to calm her nerves.

"Nothing much. Aiden and I are fighting and I just felt like talking to someone." Madison sounded sad and Spencer had the strongest urge to punch out Aiden.

"I'm sorry, do you want to talk about it?" Spencer hoped she'd say no. She didn't think she'd be able to listen to Madison complain about a guy to her.

_Because I just want the conversation to me about me, thats all. Not about a guy. It's not like I like her or anything. She's just nice. This is how everyone feels about their friends...right? _Spencer thought.

"I'd rather not. But thanks you're really sweet_" _Spencer could envision Madison smiling on the other end of the phone and Spencer couldn't help but smile too.

"So, we need to learn more about each other" Madison urged.

"What do you wanna play 21 questions or something?" Spencer suggested half kidding.

"The one where you think of an object and everyone tries to guess it?"

"Um, we could do that. But no I was thinking more along the lines of questions to get to know each other. It usually takes forever " Spencer giggled and absentmindedly started flipping through an old photo album

"Haha oh that one, okay! Why not? That sounds fun! How about this I'll just ask you ten questions and then you can ask me ten so we don't have to play the full game."

"Okay. You go first!" Spencer said flipping another page of the photo album. It was a picture of her as a young child. Her eyes were so blue and so big with hope. Spencer thought about all she had been through since that picture was taken, especially with what happened with Sarah. She wondered if she still possessed those hopeful big blue eyes or if life had hardened them.

"Okay. Are you a virgin?" Madison asked. "The standard first question!"

"Easy. Yes." Spencer said thinking of the one boyfriend she had back in Ohio. James Parker was possibly the hottest guy in their grade. He had been interested in Spencer since 5th grade and Spencer continuously denied him until freshman year. Someone had remarked, "What are you gay?" when Spencer had said she didn't want to date James. The next day Spencer walked up to James and kissed him in front of everyone. They dated for 8 long months. "Are you a virgin?" Spencer asked.

"No." Madison sighed and quickly asked, "What's your biggest regret?"

Spencer lifted her eyes to a picture of her and Jamie on her nightstand. She thought about leaving Jamie. She knew that was a huge regret and not continuing acting was another.

But then again Spencer breathed in sharply as her eyes landed on the next page of the photo album, those don't compare to this regret. A gorgeous blonde haired girl was starring back at Spencer with the most beautiful hazel eyes she'd ever seen. The girl was in mid laughter and a slightly smaller blonde haired blue-eyed girl hung from around her neck.

It was a picture of Spencer and Sarah before everything changed and turned horrendous. Spencer absentmindedly touched her left wrist and realized Madison was still waiting for an answer. "Losing touch with my friend Sarah, but I can't change it." Spencer finally admitted.

"Who did you lose your virginity to?" Spencer asked Madison dying to know whom she'd been so intimate with.

"Aiden. Summer before last" Madison answered robotically. "Have you ever dated someone of another race?"

"Yeah, my ex-boyfriend James was African American. And really gorgeous, he played soccer and lacrosse." Spencer thought for a while and then asked, "What was your first date like?"

"Well" Madison began "It was before Aiden. Someone I really cared about and we just spent the whole night lying in this field underneath the stars. I got my first kiss that night. I had just turned 14 and it was right before Aiden and I got together. It was the best night of my life and it makes me really upset we don't keep in contact anymore." Madison finished obvious sadness in her voice. "What was the most embarrassing moment of your life?"

Spencer thought over the last sixteen years of her life and one instance stood out against the rest, but she could never tell Madison. The only person she'd ever told was Jamie and that's how it was going to stay. Finally she found a suitable story to tell Madison. "Um, I was in fifth grade and I was playing on the monkey bars. I moved my body so my knees were hanging from the bar and I was upside down. Sadly, I wasn't wearing a bra yet and my shirt came up. I think that's why James liked me so much! I was the first girl whose boobs, if you can even call what I had back then boobs, he'd ever seen." Spencer giggled remembering the incident. Now it didn't seem so bad as it had that day. She remembered going home crying and her mother made her cookies and tea.

"Sooo" Spencer was dying to ask Madison whom this perfect guy was that got to lay with her under the stars but she didn't want to pry or seem jealous. So she settled on "What's your biggest pet peeve?"

"Oh man! Slow drivers! I cannot STAND people who drive slowly. I mean LA traffic is bad enough! Do people really feel the need to slow it down even more by going ten miles under the speed limit!" Madison said exasperatedly. "What's one physical feature you'd like to change about yourself?"

"I keep getting all the hard questions!" Spencer laughed.

"Well that's your own fault! You can ask me hard questions too!" Madison replied.

"Well" Spencer pondered running a hand over the last picture taped to the back of her photo album. It was from when she had graduated eighth grade. A red and puffy scar stood out obviously against her pale chin. Spencer always hated how that scar made her face look. A few months before graduation Spencer had been running down the hallway to meet Jamie and tell her some rumor she just heard.

But, she ran directly towards her locker just in time for Jamie to swing it open and accidentally whack her in the chin. The edge of the locker cut her skin so deeply it hit bone and she had to be rushed to the hospital and given over 20 stitches. To this day Spencer hated that scar and Jamie always joked, "at least you'll always have me!"

"This scar on my chin." Spencer voiced.

"Girl, I didn't even see any scar!" Madison retorted "and besides scars are sexy" Spencer's heart began to race so fast she felt like she'd just downed three red bulls. Usually she covered her scar completely with make up.

_Maybe I'll leave it noticeable tomorrow...you know in an attempt to accept myself of course. Not because Madison said scars were sexy...no definitely not._

"Thanks." Spencer said quietly "What do you want most in life?" Spencer said asking the hardest question she could think of at the time.

"To be accepted" Madison answered effortlessly.

"What do you mean?" Spencer questioned perplexed.

"Careful Spence that's two questions! But I want to be able to stand up for myself and to be confident all the time. I want to be able to present myself to the world and be able to honestly say love me or hate me because it doesn't impact me. I want to be completely comfortable in my own skin" Madison finished.

"And you don't have that now?" Spencer asked furrowing her brows.

"Do you really want to ask a third question in succession?"

"Fine, fine I withdrawal my prior question". Spencer said blushing.

"Alright. Well, how about you Carlin? What is it that you want most in this life?"

Spencer thought for a moment and said "True love"

"Don't we all." Madison agreed and continued, "Since you asked me two questions in a row I get to say another. Have you ever been in love?"

Spencer hesitated for a moment playing with the fringes of her baby blue rug. "Maybe, but I don't know if it was even real. It was unrequited if anything and ended horribly."

"I'm sorry Spencer. That must have been horrible" Madison said in a soft voice.

"Yeah. But I'm much better now. Anyway, here's a generic question. Are you genuinely happy?"

There was a thirty second pause before Madison began "Sometimes. But mostly I feel like something's missing. I wish certain things were different. Tell me something nobody else knows about you"

Spencer looked around the room thinking about something nobody else knew...besides the obvious. "Well" Spencer prefaced her statement "there's not much that Jamie doesn't know about me. So I'll tell you something only she knows. Clay wasn't a random adoption. My mother's younger sister Becky married an African American man named Daniel. They were so in love. Just seeing pictures of them together you can tell how much in love they truly were. They got married right after college and my grandma disowned her. She forbade her from ever returning to her home because she married outside racial boundaries. This caused a huge strain on my family. My mom hated my grandmother for excommunicating my sister and for holding such oppressive views. She was the only one out of her three siblings who stayed close to Becky." Spencer sighed. "Anyway, Becky got pregnant a year after they were married but there were complications. Ultimately, she died in childbirth. So Danny cared for Clay for a few months. But he was so overcome with sadness that he left Clay at our house one day. He said he was going to the gym and instead he went home and hung himself." Spencer's eyes began to prick with tears. "My mom had a nervous breakdown after that and it was really difficult growing up in the environment. But it's been 18 years since then, and our family has finally healed." Spencer finished.

"Why did you tell me all of that?" Madison sounded shocked.

"Because I feel comfortable with you. And, that was two questions" Spencer said poking fun at Madison's prior comment.

"But since I told you about my family, what's your family life like?"

"Well I live with my mom, step dad and step brother. Pretty basic."

"Oh" Spencer said sensing she may have over stepped her boundaries with that question. "This is your last question!"

"No, No you have two more left! You go first! I want to go last."

"Haha alright. If you weren't on the phone with me right now who would you be talking to?"

"I'm not sure. I mean the most likely person would be Aiden. We'd be trying to talk through this fight. I've already ignored three of his calls." Spencer couldn't help but brighten at that statement. "But" Madison continued, "sometimes I really like talking to my half-brother Jay."

"Oh you didn't mention him earlier. He doesn't live with you?" Spencer asked as she sat down on her bed.

"That was your final question! But nah, he lives with his father and stepmother in Whittier so I see him pretty often. Are you ready for your last question?"

"Yeah" Spencer said resting her head on her pillow.

"Are you attracted to me?"

Time seemed to advance in slow motion. Spencer shot up in bed and her mind began racing. It seemed to take Spencer a lifetime to register what Madison was asking.

"Whaaa?" was all Spencer could mutter in response.

"Oh relax Carlin. I think you're afraid of me turning you. But to be fair that was my last question and you did answer."

"Huh?" Spencer voiced clearly confused by the circumstance.

"Don't worry about it Spence" Madison reassured her. "Oh man. It's getting late and I've about 3 summer books to read for tomorrow so I'll catch you in homeroom!"

"Oh, Okay. Goodnight Madison" was all Spencer could say as she clicked the end button on her phone.

_What the hell just happened? Was Madison flirting with me? LA is going to be the death of me._

Spencer settled back down onto her bed and reached for a book. She played the conversation over and over in her mind until she eventually fell asleep.

After that day Spencer fell into a comfortable routine. Ashley would pick her up from school and they would tour LA, hang out in her room listening to music, or on extremely rare occasions do homework. Then she'd go home eat dinner and get a call from Madison every single night. It was slowly turning out to be the best year of Spencer Carlin's life. She had a best friend in Ashley and a whatever-it-was in Madison and she felt she could take on the world.


	5. Male Contestants

**An: This is chapter five! Sorry for the confusion with chapter three and four! I hope I didn't mess anyone up! But please continue to review! Thanks everyone :) And enjoy! Let me know what you think!**

"I will be passing around the sign up sheet for people willing to help with the homecoming decorations" Mrs. Appleton addressed the class one day in early November. Her wardrobe had changed from sunglasses and tropical style clothing to a much more earthy tone. Today she was wearing a brown jacket with orange and yellow leaves stitched into the sleeves.

"Oh man I would never sign up for that" Madison rolled her eyes and passed the sign up sheet to the boy in front of her.

Ashley sighed slightly but didn't make any negative remarks turned Madison. Spencer smiled at Ashley and squeezed her hand.

Ever since Spencer had talked to Ashley about trying to be friends with both of them Ashley had made a huge effort not to criticize Madison. She kept her mouth shut when Spencer droned on and on about how interesting and cool Madison was and allowed her to cry when she felt Madison was acting weird. Sometimes Spencer felt that Ashley may be catching onto how she truly felt about Madison, but Ashley never said anything.

"Let's just be glad there are people who like volunteering" Spencer said in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"True. Because then we don't have to do it!" Madison laughed. "Anyway Spence, do you have a date to homecoming?"

"No, I wasn't really planning on going." Spencer replied starring at the doodle she was drawing on her notebook.

Both Madison and Ashley gasped.

"What do you mean you're not going to homecoming?" Ashley questioned Spencer. "You HAVE to go. I have zero school spirit and I go to homecoming. It's basically a rule"

"Ashley's right Spencer" Madison continued smiling slightly at Ashley. "You can not miss homecoming!"

"I didn't realize it was such a big deal! I went to one dance back home. And after that I guess I just never found the right person to go with." Spencer sighed her hand beginning to shake from Madison and Ashley's intense stares.

"Well, we will just have to change that!" Madison said manner-of-factly. "I'll have Aiden set up some possible contenders and you can pick by Wednesday because homecoming is this Friday. You're lucky you're hot or there would be no way you'd get a date this last minute."

"Thanks" Spencer mumbled feeling really good that Madison had called her hot.

"Well I'm off Spencer I've to meet with the guidance counselor about college this morning. See you at lunch! I'm sure Aiden will have your first set of contestants."

Spencer giggled as she watched Madison walk out of the door.

"Once you're done with Madison and whatever contestant won this little contest" Ashley mocked Madison. "Do you want to come over my house? After homecoming I mean"

"Yeah, definitely! You know you're my favorite person to cuddle with" Spencer joked referencing all the times she had gone over to Ashley's house and they had fallen asleep watching TV or talking. For some reason when Spencer woke up she always found she had wrapped her arms around Ashley's necked and burrowed into her chest. Ashley's chin always rested on top of Spencer's head. It was one of the few moments in her life that Spencer felt completely safe.

"Alright sounds good" Ashley said smiling broadly at Spencer. "Are we still on for tomorrow after school?

"Yeah! Of course. My mom's calling me at 4 though so you can just review those Algebra notes you missed while I'm talking to her."

"Oh right because she's still in Europe. When does she get back anyway? She's been gone for about three weeks."

"I know it's been a long time. She's at some convention. I don't really know what's going on. That's why she emailed me and scheduled a time for us to talk! She kept calling and I'd be out or she'd be out"

"Ohh I see. Well yeah that's fine. I'll just copy the notes. Take your time with Paula!"

"Thanks Ash." Spencer said giving Ashley a side hug from her seat "You're a really good friend. I hope you know that." Ashley gave Spencer a small smile before she excused herself and went to use the bathroom.

A few hours later Spencer set her meal of a taco salad and water next to Madison. Aiden had followed through on Madison's request and four guys sat on the opposite side of the picnic table. Aiden hovered over each one making sure they looked presentable.

"Aiden honey" Madison began "Leave them alone and let Spencer decide"

"Right" Aiden said as he took the spot to Spencer's right. "Go for it Spencer. Guys brief summary."

The boy on the farthest right with raven colored hair and gray eyes extended a large hand to Spencer. "I'm Curtis Benson. We're in Algebra II together. I'm captain of the rowing team and have been interested in plays since I was six. I actually landed a big kid's diaper commercial when I was seven. I heard you're into acting? Maybe I could hook you up with my manager?" Curtis said continuing to grasp Spencer's hand.

"Cool" Spencer said secretly thinking _so he could land me big diaper commercials. Yeah, I'll pass. _

"I also took the psats and scored a perfect score on Math. So forgive me I'm not being obtuse, but you're acute girl." Curtis sat down and Spencer glanced at Aiden. He was giggling to himself and Spencer punched him in the thigh.

"Um, thanks Curtis. You're nice. Let me talk to the other guys and I'll let you know."

"Splendid here is my number, my sweet." Curtis pulled a white business card from his jacket pocket. It read Curtis Benson Math tutor and gave his cell phone number at the bottom.

"Thanks" Spencer said again as Curtis stood from the picnic table and walked back into the highschool.

"Aiden" Madison began. "Did you tell these boys to use a pick up line on Spencer?"

"Maybe" Aiden said sheepishly. "I just wanted things to be interesting"

Madison rolled her eyes as Spencer locked eyes with blonde haired boy. He had baby blue eyes and his arm muscles bulged from his sports t-shirt. "Ryan Collins" He said in an uncharacteristically low voice. "I'm a forward on the soccer team, coach deemed me MVP last year. I'm not good with math like Curtis but I am really involved with clubs. I'm the head of psych club and astronomy club. I like helping out at homeless shelters as often as possible…but not as much as my sister Carolyn. She is WAY over the top." Andrew flashed a grin at Spencer. Aiden coughed and he added. "Oh right, you've made me so nervous that I've totally forgotten my standard pick-up line."

"That's weak man!" Aiden condemned Ryan.

"No" Spencer defended him "I think it's really cute."

"Well cool. Here's my number, sorry I don't have a fancy business card. Good old pen and paper will have to do" He said as he fished a notebook and pen from his backpack and scrawled his number down. "I hope to hear from you soon Spencer"

"See you later Ryan" Spencer added plugging in Ryan's number immediately. To be honest Ryan had intrigued Spencer.

Spencer listened half heartedly as the next boy shook her hand and talked about all of his accomplishments. "The names Andrew Keetan. I play soccer, basketball and baseball. Outside of the highschool teams I play travel rugby every weekend and practice in my free time. I'm 2 percent body fat and the rest is muscle. I can even make my tattoos dance." Andrew pushed his two sizes too small muscle t-shirt from his bicep and made the image of a naked woman dance.

"Classy" Spencer said. "You know I think I may have you're number already Andrew. We'll be in touch. Have a good day."

Andrew looked slightly confused as he walked away from the picnic table without saying his pick up line.

"You do?" Madison asked Spencer quietly.

"Hell no, and I never want to have it!" She replied causing Aiden and Madison to laugh loudly. "And I certainly didn't want to listen to whatever disgusting pick up line he had planned!" Spencer finished and looked expectantly towards the last contestant.

He had jet black hair that covered his dark blue eyes "Hey, I'm Kaleb O'Neil. I've been the lead in a few plays. I really like reading and writing poetry. I volunteer at an animal rights activist group. We only do peaceful protests. And to be honest I'm only here because Aiden asked me too." Kaleb winked at Aiden suggestively. "I'm actually gay, so I don't want you to get the wrong impression if you pick me." Kaleb smiled and then scribbled down his number. "Do you want my number too?" Kaleb asked Aiden his pen hovering over the piece of paper. "I could always write another one"

"Haha you're cool man, but I don't swing that way" Aiden replied in a surprisingly mature manner.

I understand!" Kalbe replied "Anyway way, Spencer just let me know where I stand! And my pick up line was you are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine."

"Thanks Kaleb. And no I'm sure you want to go to homecoming with someone special too. So and take the date you want to take. But you're sweet so I'll hand onto this number."

Kaleb smiled and nodded at Aiden and followed the other three guy's path.

Spencer sighed and Madison rested her head on Spencer's shoulder. She interlocked their fingers and said, "What are you going to do".

"I have no idea," Spencer responded referencing not only the homecoming situation but also what she was going to do about the beautifully straight girl resting on her shoulder.


	6. Are You Happy?

After the bell sounded Spencer walked directly to the Junior-Senior parking lot to meet Madison to go shopping for a dress.

"Carlin" Madison waved from inside her SUV "Get in!"

Spencer opened the passenger door moved some water bottles and books to the floor and buckled her seat belt. "I'm ready!" Spencer said as Madison riffled down the parking lot. She and Ashley drove very similarly Spencer noted as Madison rolled through a stop sign.

"So where are we headed?" voiced Spencer.

"Oh, just a small boutique in town. I know the perfect dress for you." Madison said as she turned on the radio and clicked CD mode.

"Cool" Spencer replied and settled into her seat as the song started.

_You got a boyfriend_

_I got a girlfriend_

_I keep on wandering_

_Are you happy?_

"_hmm"_ Spencer thought as she began to listen closely to the lyrics "_this isn't bad."_

"_Where are you tonight?_

_Under the same sky_

_Wish you could tell me _

_Are you happy?_

Spencer glanced at Madison and couldn't help but relate this song to her current predicament. Spencer had literally asked Madison if she was happy a few weeks ago when they were playing some dumb game. Madison hadn't been convincing when she said "sometimes". Spencer felt there was something deeper under the surface Madison was keeping from her.

_Lie awake and I keep hoping_

_That you say you're lost and lonely _

_I know, I know That there's nobody better, better You were meant for me_

_ and I was meant for you I still want you, want you If you'll have me, have me _

_My door is open Hoping you'll walk through_

Spencer sat up straight in her seat. She felt as though this band found her journal and decided to make a song about her life. She suddenly felt very exposed and vaguely wondered if Madison suspected how she truly felt. "Who sings this?" Spencer asked in an attempt to diffuse the tension in her mind.

"Days Difference. Aren't they great?" Madison responded singing along to the words.

"Yeah" Spencer answered before the next verse began.

_Where did you go then?_

_No way of knowing_

_It was so sudden_

_Are you happy?_

_What did I say that?_

_I'd take it all back_

_Wish you could tell me, tell me_

_Are you happy?_

_Lie awake and I can't stand it_

_Why should we make this so tragic?_

Spencer sighed. This song paralleled her life perfectly. Every night Spencer would lay down and think of Madison. She'd replay every word they said to each other, think about every subtle touch and every hug that last a moment too long. Spencer knew that if Madison gave her a chance she would make her happier than Aiden ever could.

_I know, I know_

_That there's nobody better, better_

_You were meant for me and I was meant for you_

_I still want to, want to_

_If you'll have me, have me_

_My door is open hoping you'll walk through_

_Ah, ah are you happy?_

_Don't know what to believe in_

_Heart stopped but I'm still breathing_

_I lost everything, but I'm still holding on_

As the words pierced the air Spencer thought about how truly lost and confused she was. Sometimes she was certain Madison felt the same way and other times she was certain Madison would never love her in return. It was an exhausting rollercoaster of emotions. And even though she risked getting seriously hurt Spencer never wanted to get off this ride.

You've got a boyfriend

_I've got a girlfriend_

_I keep on wondering_

_Are you happy?_

_I know, I know_

_That there's nobody better, better_

_You were meant for me and I was meant for you_

_I still want to, want to_

_If you'll have me, have me_

_My door is open hoping you'll walk through_

_Ah, ah are you happy?_

_You've got a boyfriend_

Of all the nights Spencer dreamed about kissing Madison or being with Madison she never considered Aiden. She always assumed if Madison admitted she liked Spencer Aiden would walk away. But the truth was Madison DID have a boyfriend, and Spencer couldn't forget that.

"Alright" Madison said as the music faded. "We're here."

Madison had pulled in front of a gorgeous little yellow store and grabbed a few quarters from the center console. As Madison got out to feed the parking meter Spencer took in the beauty of the store. It was set back slightly off the street to give room for a cobble stone walk way. A big green and blue sign hung from the roof that read "City Meets Country Boutique". Every window was lined with window boxes and filled to the brim with flowers.

"You coming?" Madison asked through the window.

"Are you going to turn off your car?" Spencer joked as reached over and twisted the keys out of the ignition. "What would you do without me" Spencer said as she got out of the car and gave Madison the keys.

"Die. Obviously. Now come on I have to be home by 5." Madison sounded upset but Spencer didn't want to pry.

"Welcome to Country Meets City" A middle aged woman with a headset greeted Spencer and Madison. "I'm Suzie! If you need anything give me a haller. All clothing over there" Suzie flicked a wrist at a few racks of dresses, shirts and jeans. "are half off. Enjoy!" she said as she flittered away to assist another costumer.

"She's a trip" Madison said as she grabbed Spencer and lead her to the 50 percent off rack. "I was here yesterday and I thought this would be perfect" Madison moved some dresses around and finally picked up a white halter top dress. It was absolutely stunning.

"Suzie!" Madison called "Can you open a fitting room for us?"

"Of course" Suzie bounded over to the dressing room and pulled a key from around her neck. "Just one item?" Suzie said looking at the dress in Madison hand. "That's perfect, if you don't want it just leave it on the door!"

"Thanks" Spencer said as Suzie retreated back towards the door again.

Madison walked into the dressing room and placed the dress in Spencer's hands. She then proceeded to sit on the bench inside the room.

"Um" Spencer mumbled looking at Madison.

"Just change already Spence" Madison said as she flipped open her phone and began to text someone.

"Uh, okay." Spencer turned her back to Madison and pulled her sweater and t-shirt over her head. She then unbuttoned her jeans and shimmed them off kicking them to the other side of her dressing room.

Spencer shifted nervously as she removed the dress from the hanger and slide it over her black lace bra and her Victoria Secret stripped underwear. When she turned around Madison was watching her.

"Well" Spencer said holding her arms at her side waiting for Madison's approval.

"Nice" She said she stood up and instructed Spencer to turn. "Your butt looks amazing in this, and it gives you some boobage." Madison said as she sat back down on the bench clearly distracted. Spencer slide the dress over her head again and hung it back on its hanger. She picked up her jeans and dragged them up her legs. Spencer was in the process of putting on her shirt when she heard Madison sniffle from behind her.

Spencer turned around and let the shirt fall to the ground as she sat next to Madison.

"Hey" She said wrapping an arm around her shoulder "What's wrong?"

Madison brushed tears from her eyes and relaxed into Spencer's grip. Madison's body felt nice against Spencer's cold bare skin. "I just really don't want to go to this family dinner."

"Why?" Spencer asked tilting Madison's face towards her.

"I just have a complicated family life." Madison said a tear spilling over her eyelid.

"You can talk to me you know. I won't tell anyone" Spencer assured her.

Madison hesitated and then said "It's pretty messed up, are you sure wanna know?"

"Of course"

"Well" Madison started. "My mom married my step father Charlie when I was 12. We used to live with my half brother Jay and his father Mike. Jay's a year younger than me. My mom moves fast" Madison explained. "She had me with this guy Lance who took off once she got pregnant, then she met Mike. But my mom cheated on Mike with Charlie so Mike moved out and took Jay. The next year she married Charlie and with Charlie came Zack." Now tears were freely falling from Madison's face wiping away her perfectly crafted make up.

"Everything was great for a while. Zack and I really got along. He was 14 and I felt so cool hanging out with a kid two years older than me. But then things started to get inappropriate. He'd touch me and I didn't want him too. One night when my parents went out and left him alone…he" Madison stalled "molested me and now he's back from college and I don't wanna see him" Spencer gasped as she held Madison tightly in her arms. Madison lowered her eyes and broke into sobs. Her tears had now succeeded in rubbing off all of her make up and angry red blotches rose on her skin. Her usually flawless face now held visible imperfections.

Spencer lost track of time as she whispered comforting words and allowed Madison's tears to soak her skin. She wanted nothing more than to fix this for Madison but she knew all she could do was be here with here. After 30 minutes Madison calmed down and Spencer paid for the dress. Madison drove her home and Spencer told Madison to call her after the dinner was over. Madison nodded her head and thanked Spencer for listening to her.

Spencer went into her room laid on her bed still reeling from Madison's words. Spencer wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to rid the image from her mind.

That afternoon Spencer realized Madison Duarte wasn't perfect and it made Spencer love her even more.

**A/N: Hey guys I hope you like this chapter I've been wanting to do something like this with a song! How do you think it went? I haven't gotten many reviews lately so I was wondering if you guys want me to continue with the story? If you don't like it there's no point in continuing! Let me know : )**


	7. The Letter

**An: Thanks for everyone who told me to continue! I had to make some changes to my profile if you haven't noticed! So enjoy this story and sorry it took awhile my internet was down! Remember reviewing makes me know you care haha **

"Home sweet home" Spencer said as she slung her backpack to the ground just inside her front door the following day.

Ashley continued to a large wooden table in Spencer's living room and settled into her usual spot.

"Ash" Spencer called from the hallway "You know you don't have to sit there! It's not like we're eating dinner with my family tonight!"

"I know" Ashley laughed "But I'm hoping if I sit here long enough your dad will come home and invite me to stay for dinner! And hopefully make my favorite meal" Ashley called.

"Haha in your dreams! My dad is out with Clay and Glenn camping tonight. So I will be making a mean mac and cheese. But your welcome to stay" Spencer added as she walked over to Ashley and placed a lime green notebook in front of her.

"I would love to" Ashley responded sincerely "And I may just have to spend the night too. I wouldn't want any strangers breaking in to your house." Ashley jabbed Spencer in the ribs making fun of her fear of the movie "The Strangers".

"Hey!" Spencer responded pouting her lip "Now you do have to stay!"

"Perfect" Ashley laughed as she flipped open the first page of the notebook. "Jeeze Spence did you even take any notes?" Ashley asked motioning towards the intricate patterns and doodles Spencer had drawn on the page.

"Well, I won't lie" Spencer began "I am learning more about Art than Math in that class. The drawings get better as you go on!" Spencer promised. "But anyway, all the pages are dated so just find what days you missed and..." Spencer stalled looking at the digital clock to her right that read 4:00pm as her cell phone began to buzz. "This will be my mother. I won't take too long!"

"Thanks Spence" Ashley called as Spencer disappeared up the stairs. She faintly heard Spencer say "Hey mom" before returning her attention to the notebook.

"Alright" Ashley whispered to herself "I missed two weeks ago. So that would make the date...perfect the 18th" Ashley said as she flipped to a page covered in technicolor doodles. "Wow, Spencer wasn't kidding. Her drawings did get better" Ashley noted as she flipped open her own notebook and picked up a mechanical pencil.

For the next fifteen minutes the only sound that could be heard from the living room was the fervent scratching of pencil on paper. Ashley copied down Spencer's notes on the quadratic formula and all kinds of things she found pointless.

"The Accumulated Interest Formula: _A = P + PRT_" Ashley said to herself as she reached the bottom of the page. "Damn, there's more of this!" She thought to herself as she turned the page.

"What is this?" Ashley thought as she looked at what appeared to be a letter written by Spencer to her friend Jamie. "I shouldn't read this" Ashley reasoned. She was about to close the notebook when she saw her own name and couldn't resist the temptation to know what Spencer thought about her.

The note was dated October 25 meaning it was written a little less than a week ago.

_Jaaaamie!,_

_Let me start out by saying you NEED to get a phone. It's painful having to write everything down to you. I would much prefer to talk to you so you'd able to respond immediately. But I guess this is the best I can do. I barely have anytime after school so I'm writing this to avoid the torture of my Algebra class .The only thing that makes this class bearable is Ashley sits next to me. Thank god! I really wish you could meet her, you guys would get along so well. She's quickly becoming my best friend out here. Obviously, nobody can replace you but it's nice to be close to someone near by._

_Anyway, the real reason I'm writing is because I just had another encounter with Madison. I was standing at my locker gets books and she was waiting for me. I closed my locked and turned towards her and she took a step closer to me. I swear to God I thought she was going to kiss me, but she just fixed my collar because the back was up and said, "you're a mess". And walked away._

_You're the only person I can talk to about "this". I know you're going to roll your eyes once you read this, but those feelings I had for Sarah. I feel them again, and this time they're directed at Madison. I'll know you know what I'm going to say but I'll just make it obvious. I think I'm falling in love with her.I hate being apart from her, she's the only one who can make me truly happy out here. And that scares me because you know what happened with Sarah literally almost killed me. I would do anything to be with her, blow off schoolwork, class and even Ashley. _

_I feel terrible about blowing off Ash, but I just have this odd pull towards Madison. Maybe it's because she looks like Sarah or maybe it's because we have the same semi-flirtatious relationship. I mean she hangs on me is ALWAYS touching me. I just don't understand what her intentions are. She has a boyfriend, as you know, that guy Aiden. _

_I just don't know what this means for me Jamie. Does this make me gay? bi? How am I supposed to know? I've never felt this way about a guy but I am attracted to a guy's body. I just think I'm more attracted to a girl's mind. I've tried to ration with myself and think that I just like it because I like close bonds. But lets be real I've never had any sort of urge to kiss you. I just don't know what to do anymore Jamie. I just wish..."_

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" Spencer screamed and Ashley jumped. She hadn't heard Spencer walk up behind her.

"I'm sorry Spence. I just was copying notes and saw my name" Ashley said as she turned and faced Spencer nervously.

"How much did you read?" Spencer urged moving closer to Ashley.

"Not much" Ashley stammered.

"TELL ME" Spencer yelled her eyes wild with anger and betrayal.

"Almost all of it" Ashley admitted closing the gap between her and Spencer.

"You had no right!" Spencer cried her voice cracking and her defenses lowering. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes.

"Spencer, it's okay! I won't judge you! If you're gay that's fine!" Ashley cooed holding Spencer an arm length from her.

"No it won't! Because you'll never treat me the same! You'll be afraid to hug me, afraid to hang out with me. You probably won't stay tonight! And you'll-"

"Spence!" Ashley interrupted her. "I'm not afraid of you"

"Yeah Rig-" But before Spencer could finish Ashley had closed the space between them and silenced Spencer by connecting their lips.


	8. The Confession

**A/N: Hey guys! So this chapter is a day early and pretty long! I added it now because I may not be able to update for a while because I haven't written anymore of the story! I've got it all mapped out but I'm not too sure exactly how I want it all to pan out. I have a major trick up my sleeve that could extend the story a lot but I'm not sure if I should do that or not! And to Your Relentless Lover I don't think you're a loser at all! Thanks for your reviews guys it means a lot! Please continue to let me know what you think I love reading them! :) **

"Yeah Rig-" But before Spencer could finish Ashley had closed the space between them and silenced Spencer by connecting their lips.

Ashley kissed Spencer hard for about ten seconds before Spencer broke away.

"Ash?" She asked raising one eyebrow towards her best friend "What the hell was that?"

"You didn't believe me. So I had to prove that I love you no matter what, and no matter who you are. I may even like you better now" Ashley winked and sat back down at the table. "I shouldn't have read that letter Spencer. I'm really sorry that I betrayed your confidence like that but I'm really glad I know. And I hope you'll feel comfortable enough to tell me about Sarah." Ashley said referencing the girl Spencer wrote about in the letter. "It seems she hurt you a lot and you wanna talk about some things with her and Madison."

"But won't that be awkward because you hate Madison?" Spencer asked dabbing at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt.

"Nah, I'll deal with it for you." Ashley said.

"Well I guess to understand how I feel about Madison you need to know about Sarah." Spencer suggested. "But do you mind if we go upstairs? I don't feel like blubbering in my living room for all the neighbors to see" Spencer explained as she looked out the large windows placed directly in front of the table.

"Wherever you want" Ashley said as she allowed Spencer to take her hand and lead her to her room.

Five minutes later Ashley and Spencer had situated themselves on Spencer's Disney Princess sheets. If it had been any other day Ashley would have mocked Spencer endlessly but today she bit her tongue. She wanted Spencer to feel completely comfortable talking to her.

Spencer breathed deeply and said "Please don't think less of me for this"

"Nothing could ever make me think less of you" Ashley replied slinging her arm over Spencer's shoulder.

"Okay" Spencer took a deep breath "Sarah McKinely became my new best friend freshman year of high school. She lived in the neighboring town and I had never met her until soccer tryouts. Sarah, Jamie and I were all pretty close for the first couple months of freshman year. But Jamie hated how Sarah treated me, so she stopped hanging out with the two of us. She warned me over and over to be careful with how much I invested in the friendship. I would ditch Jamie and blow off homework to hang out with her..."

"Which is what you're doing with Madison now" Ashley added and Spencer nodded.

"Exactly. Which is why I'm nervous because I can't control myself around Madison just like I couldn't around Sarah. I feel the need to impress them and I want them to like me more than anything." Spencer sniffled and Ashley placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"What happened that was so terrible with Sarah?" Ashley asked truly concerned.

"Well for about six months things were great. She relied on me completely and told me things she'd never told anyone. I was ecstatic that someone as cool as Sarah trusted me. I was so in love with her.." Spencer stalled. It felt weird to admit she was in love with a girl out loud. "..that I just wanted to be with her constantly. And my attraction wasn't one sided. She lead me on so badly, I'm not sure if she meant to but she did. She would touch our foreheads together whenever we were alone and whisper things like "you're the only person I need". And what the hell was I supposed to think? I thought she was in love with me too! There was a day last December that changed everything between us. It scarred me emotionally and...physically" Spencer said rolling up her sleeve and exposing a long pink scar running horizontally down her wrist.

Ashley tried hard not to gasp as she covered the scar and locked eyes with Spencer, silently urging her to continue.

"It was the Christmas dance at our highschool and Sarah and I were going together. I knew that night would be memorable, but I had no idea just how horrifically memorable it would be. You see I had planned to tell Sarah I loved her that night..."

"_I am SO excited for tonight!" Spencer yelled over the sounds of Jingle Bell Rock coming from the radio perched on her night stand._

"_Me too!" A blonde girl answered peering out from Spencer's closet._

"_Sarah" Spencer complained "You've been in my closet forever! Are you __ever __coming out?"_

"_Mmm, not yet!" Sarah laughed "First I've to make sure you wear the right shoes so you look hot tonight!"_

_Spencer twisted her hair nervously staring at her closet door. She had planned to tell Sarah about her feelings tonight but wasn't sure how she'd approach it. Yesterday she spent hours in front of the bathroom mirror trying to find the right words to convey her emotions. But nothing felt right._

_Finally, after hours of agonizing over what to say Spencer decided she didn't need words to express how she felt. She'd simply kiss Sarah, she just needed to find the right moment. _

"_Yes!" Sarah celebrated holding a pair of dark green heels."These match your dress perfectly!" She motioned to the beautiful dark green dress hanging on the back of Spencer's door. "I'm surprised you have this color!" _

"_My mom must have bought them for me at some point because I hate heels!" Spencer said eyeing the shoes nervously._

"_Oh they aren't that bad, baby" Sarah exclaimed as she walked towards Spencer. "Give me your feet" She instructed as she fastened the shoes onto Spencer's feet. "And they fit too! Tonight is going to be amazing. We'll dance and eat and drink... just the punch" she said with a wink. _

_Spencer rolled her eyes and playfully hit Sarah's shoulder. "You know if anyone catches you pouring vodka into the fruit punch the only drink you'll be having is water in juvi!"_

"_Oh stop worrying Spence!" Sarah called as she flung herself onto Spencer's bed. _

_Spencer laughed to herself as she unfastened her shoes. _

"_Excuse me, what are you doing missy?" Sarah questioned._

"_Don't worry hun. I'm just taking them off for now I'll put them back on later!" Spencer laid back on her bed too and Sarah moved closer to Spencer. She extended a an arm and motioned her Spencer to cuddle next to her. _

_Spencer's pulse quickened and she immediately obliged. Sarah welcomed Spencer closer to her. They did this so often it became second nature for Spencer to rest her head on Sarah's chest and for Sarah to place her chin on Spencer's head._

"_I love you, you know" Sarah whispered and gripped Spencer's shoulder. _

"_I love you more" Spencer assured her in complete sincerity. "I always will!"_

_Sarah laughed, closed her eyes and tightened her grip on Spencer. "We've roughly 40 minutes until we have to get up and get ready" Sarah said calculating the time with her eyes still closed. _

"_Awesome" Spencer replied settling into Sarah and closing her eyes as well. She exhaled slowly and tried to relax her nerves. _

"_No matter what happens tonight" Spencer thought "how we are right now, will always be heaven to me."_

_Four hours, five shots and a few slurred words later Spencer was standing in the middle of the dance floor. Tons of students were swaying to a A Moment Like This by Kelly Clarkson and Spencer took it as a sign from fate that this was the perfect moment to kiss Sarah considering nobody played A Moment Like This anymore at dances._

"**What if I told you it was all meant to be? **

**Would you believe me, would you agree?" **

_Spencer stumbled her way around the dance floor pushing apart couples and getting lost in excess taffeta flowing from girl's dresses. She quickly became disorientated as she plunged deeper into the crowd._

"_Where is she" Spencer wondered wiping sweat off of her forehead. She stumbled a few more yards and knocked into a couple kissing. "Sorry" Spencer mumbled as they gave her a dirty look._

"**Its almost that feeling that we've met before so tell me that you don't think Im crazy when I tell your love is here and now."**

_After a few seconds Spencer finally broke from the crowd and made her way to the punch table. She scooped a few spoonfuls of liquid into a cup and took a sip._

_She surveyed the students in front of her and couldn't find a hint of Sarah's red dress anywhere. Spencer raised the cup to her mouth and was just about to take another swig when she saw a glimpse of Sarah. _

_Spencer downed the rest of the punch in one gulp and made her way towards Sarah. Spencer began to smile as she took long confident strides towards the girl she was in love with. _

**A Moment like this. **

**Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this. **

"_Perfect" Spencer thought as Sarah came into view. "And just in time for the chorus". But before Spencer could make her way towards Sarah a couple moved a few feet to the left, and Spencer realized Sarah wasn't alone. Spencer squinted and saw that she was slow dancing with a boy named Nick from her Geometry class._

"**Some people search forever..."**

_Spencer stopped mid stride as she took in the scene. She watched Nick slide is hands up Sarah's back. She couldn't tear her eyes away when he pulled her closer to him. She nearly fainted when he titled her chin up to face him. _

"**...for that one special kiss"**

_Spencer's whole world seemed to crumble around her when Nick's lips met Sarah's. Spencer waited a few seconds hoping and praying that Sarah would pull away and slap Nick across the face. Unfortunately, they continued to kiss as the music played on. _

"**I cant believe it's happening to me."**

_Tears began to streak down Spencer's face as she fought her way back through the crowd. She heard distant questions like: "are you okay?" and "do you need a designated driver?" as Spencer raced towards the back door._

_She just needed to get home and far away from Sarah. She couldn't believe how wrong she had been. Moments ago she was ready to risk everything to be with Sarah and now nothing made sense. Spencer hit a hand to her head and stepped out into the cold night air. She'd never felt this stupid before and certainly had never been this hurt before._

_She stepped onto the sidewalk and looked behind her towards the dance hall. "How did my life get like this?" Spencer wondered. "She doesn't love me!" Spencer realized slowly as she began to walk home. Her heels were cutting into her ankles and her dress was gathering mud at the bottom but Spencer didn't care. She couldn't feel anything other than heart wrenching pain. _

_After a few minutes of walking Spencer saw her Victorian style house in the distance. Even though this was the home she grew up in nothing seemed familiar. The shrubs seemed to be cut a bit too short, the grass seemed a bit too dry and the door handle no longer fit her hand perfectly._

_If it wasn't for the portraits of her family scattered about the house Spencer would've been certain she stepped into someone else's home. Everything felt strange, distant and unfamiliar._

_She walked towards the stairs leading to her room and noticed her parents sleeping on the couch. They both looked so peaceful entwined in each other's arms and it brought fresh tears to Spencer's eyes. They laid completely unaware of the tragedy that had just occurred._

_Spencer blinked furiously and continued on her way upstairs. She rounded the corner into the hallway and pushed her door open. She took all the pictures she had of Sarah and throw them to the ground. She ripped the sheets off her bed, and threw the heels off her feet. Anything that Sarah had ever touched Spencer threw to the floor in a rage._

_Finally she walked towards the attached bathroom in her room. The usually inviting smell of cinnamon disgusted her as she starred into the mirror. Spencer looked at her blue eyes laden with tears and hated herself._

"_How could I have been so stupid!" She breathed diverting her eyes from the mirror. She couldn't even bare to look at herself in this state. "Nobody loves me" Spencer thought as she sunk to the ground near the bath tub._

_Spencer tucked her knees to her chest and began to rock back and forth. Sobs racked her tiny frame as she had the desperate need to feel something other than sadness._

_Spencer spotted a razor glinting in the shower. Beads of water were dripping from the edge of the blade still wet from when Sarah showered before the dance. Spencer didn't hesitate as she grabbed the razor and held it in her palm. _

_She flipped it over and looked at the sharp end. The three horizontal blades leered menacingly at Spencer as she made up her mind. She thrust the blade toward her left wrist, let out a haunting scream and hid the blades deep into her skin, burying all memories of Sarah with the razor._

_The pain was a pleasant relief Spencer thought as she rested her head against the tub. She watched as the crimson blood rose to the surface and pooled over her arm drenching her dress. Spencer smiled as she lifted the blade a second time and cut deeper. She let out another blood curdling yell and slide to the floor completely. _

_Spencer smiled as her vision began to go black. She was able to relax more and more as the blood continued to flow from her marred wrist. She sighed in relief as she finally felt the pain escaping her body and faintly heard foot steps. _

"_No more sarah" Spencer muttered to herself as the bathroom door flung open. The last thing Spencer saw before the world faded to black was her mother's devastated face._

"Luckily my mom found me when she did" Spencer recollected "Or I wouldn't have made it."

"Spencer, if you EVER feel that way again you promise me you call me. I don't care if it's in the middle of the night, you MUST call me." Ashley demanded."I can't believe that happened to you, are you okay now?"

Spencer nodded "I went to a psychiatric hospital for two months and I was released. They didn't think I was at risk to attempt again because it was an isolated instant under the influence of alcohol."

Ashley hesitated for a moment then asked "What'd Sarah do when she found out?"

Spencer looked towards the ground and tapped her leg nervously. "You don't have to answer" Ashley added quickly rubbing her hand in small circles on Spencer's back.

"No, it's okay" Spencer sighed "Sarah came to visit me in the hospital. She was so concerned" Spencer starred into the far corner of her room clearly distracted. "She had no idea she was the reason I did this. I couldn't tell her so instead I told her I never wanted to see her again. I told her the only way for me to get better was if she never contacted me again." Spencer dropped her head and allowed a tear to fall onto her jeans. "I regret that more than anything"

"Spence" Ashely began "Why didn't you ever try and contact her after you got better?"

"She has tried to contact me." Spencer said flicking towards a box in the far corner of her room. "Go ahead, look." Spencer urged as Ashley broke her hold on Spencer.

She kneeled on the ground and popped the top of a white box. Dozen's of letters were addressed to Spencer. Ashley looked through all of them, unopened and discarded. The last one Sarah had sent was dated this September.

"Why haven't you answered?" Ashley inquired.

"And give her the satisfaction of controlling me again? To feel that horrible pain? I just can't do it Ash. I'm not in love with her anymore, I'm not sure if I ever was. But I miss our friendship, I miss sharing things with her" Spencer reminisced.

"Spencer, you can't be afraid of who you are. If you're a lesbian it's okay, if you're bi thats fine!..I mean hey it'll double your chances of getting a date" Ashley laughed "You just can't let people rule your emotions. You need to be able to accept yourself before anyone can truly know you."

"I know" Spencer responded "But I can't have anyone knowing this Ash. Please don't tell anyone. I'll come out when I'm ready, but it won't be for awhile. Not everyone is going to be as accepting as you."

"And Jamie" Ashley added "You can't underestimate people. Things were different in Ohio. This is LA, people are a lot more accepting. It's a progressive era Spence. The sooner you're okay with who you are the sooner everyone else will be!" Ashley engulfed Spencer in a hug.

"I'm aware it's like 9 at night" Ashley said looking at the digital clock "But I'm exhausted".

She laid down under Spencer's comforter. "Are you coming?" Ashley asked.

Spencer nodded and laid in Ashley's out stretched arms. She immediately placed her head on Ashley's chest. Ashley pulled Spencer closer to her and placed her chin on Spencer's head.

"It'll all work out" Ashley whispered as she closed her eyes and drifted to sleep.

Spencer waited a few minutes before breaking Ashley's death grip and sliding out of bed. She glanced back at Ashley who seemed to be undisturbed by her departure and walked down stairs. She flicked on the light in the living room and grabbed her phone from the table. She must have flung it down after her mother called her and she found Ashley reading her letter to Jamie.

Spencer scrolled through her contacts and found the name was she looking for. She starred at the contact thinking of everything Ashley had said and then hit send.

"Hello?" A voice sounded from the other end.

"Hey Ryan" Spencer began "I hope you're up for going to homecoming with me, you were my favorite option" Spencer said into the phone her voice oozing with apparent happiness but her face completely void of emotion.


	9. Homecoming

**A/N: Sorry I've been so busy guys! I had alot of issues at the beginning of this year that made it really hard to write! This chapter is EXTREMELY long ahah. But i hope you like it! I had to make up for the time away by adding a really long chapter. Enjoy! The reset is to come soon! And as always, tell me what you think please!**

The next morning Spencer rushed through the hallway. After the intense emotional scene with Ashley last night she had completely forgotten to set her alarm and had missed homeroom.

"Damn it" Spencer whispered as she fumbled to open her locker.

"Need help?" Madison asked appearing on Spencer's left.

"Oh my god, so badly" Spencer sighed as she relinquished the lock into Madison's hand.

"Haha I hate how tricky these can be when you're stressed" Madison said as she began to turn the dial on the lock.

"It's 13-19-32" Spencer said absentmindedly looking at Madison.

"No, it's not" Madison responded as the lock clicked open "Maybe that was your combination in Ohio but out in LA it's 13-25-3. I listen when you talk to me Spencer" Madison laughed and wrenched open the locker door.

"Thanks" Spencer said as she grabbed her Algebra book. Spencer hesitated for a second and then asked "So what happened last night? I called you about three times a little after 9:30"

Madison's smile faltered and she lowered her head. "Oh, yeah well I got to bed early."

Spencer furrowed her brow "Oh, alright. I was just calling because of the dinn-"

"I know why you were calling Spencer." Madison interrupted her and took a step away. "I just don't want to talk about it."

"I'm sorry Madison. I just thought you might need a friend" Spencer whispered softly extending a hand towards Madison.

"Well, there's a reason why I didn't answer your calls." Madison swatted Spencer's hand from her shoulder "You can be really dense sometimes." Madison seethed and slammed the locker shut.

Spencer winced at the noise and cried "I didn't mean to offend you. I'm sorry!"

"Whatever Spencer" Madison looked Spencer up and down rolled her eyes and stormed down the hallway.

"Well that wasn't pretty" Ashley voiced from behind Spencer. "Thanks for leaving me in the parking lot by the way." she spat "But I'm glad I wasn't involved in that fight" Ashley motioned down the hallway after Madison's shrinking figure.

"I'm sorry. I just can't be late to Algebra and then Madison just freaked out on me. I have no idea why either. I was just trying to be nice to her." Spencer exhaled as she leaned back against her locker. "Sometimes she makes me feel like I'm her best friend and other times I feel like she doesn't want me in her life at all" Spencer confessed as she brought her hands to her head.

"Yeah..I know the feeling" Ashley cooed as she took Spencer's hand "That's Madison's style. She has this hypnotic hold over people. It's hard to describe. Just promise me you'll be careful."

"I will" Spencer promised and leaned her head on Ashley's shoulder. "It's just frustrating."

"I'm sure she'll make you feel included again by the end of the day today" Ashley reassured Spencer "That's just how Madison works."

"I really hope so because I can't stand it when she treats me this way" Spencer admitted as she and Ashley began to walk to Algebra.

"It'll all work out, babe." Ashley reassured Spencer "But we really gotta rush we've about three minutes to get to class". Ashley gestured towards the digital clock on her wrist.

"Shit" Spencer sighed and began to speed walk the rest of the way to class.

Ashley watched as the blonde half ran down the corridor and she couldn't help but smile. "God, she's cute" Ashley thought as she followed in Spencer's footsteps.

"The MMPI is also known as the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory first created by..."

Spencer found herself in last period Psychology bored out of her mind. Usually everything about the mind fascinated her but today she couldn't take her mind of her encounter with Madison. Spencer looked to her left at Madison's unoccupied seat and wondered where she could possibly be. She hadn't seen or spoken to Madison since the locker incident and really wanted to apologize for making her uncomfortable.

Spencer was contemplating all the different ways she could apologize as she felt her cell phone vibrate from her pocket. Spencer looked around to make sure the professor didn't hear her phone and then slowly checked the screen. The **1 New Text **icon was flashing.

She clicked on to her text messages and was shocked to see Madison's name. All she had typed was "Hi".

Spencer, very confused immediately responded and said "Hey, where are you?". She felt it was best for her to not drudge up the earlier encounter. Maybe this was Madison's way of saying she forgave Spencer.

"I didn't feel like going to Psych today. I have enough of my own problems."

"Is everything alright?" Spencer replied as she looked around the room to make sure her actions weren't obvious.

"They will be. So, I heard you and Ryan are going to homecoming together." Spencer looked down at the message for a minute before typing "Yeah, I decided last night. A day before the Wednesday deadline haha."

"I'm glad you told me."

"I was going to but I didn't really have time to" Spencer couldn't tell if Madison was still angry or not.

"Right. Well the reason I texted you was to tell you to come over Friday at about 6. We'll get ready and take a limo to homecoming"

Spencer read the message over three times. _What the hell. Ashley was right. Spencer thought "Madison has forgiven me and now she's inviting me to some exclusive pre homecoming party. She's succeeded in making me feel special again too."_

"Of course" Spencer texted Madison back and settled deeper into her chair. She was thrilled to know that Madison was no longer mad at her and now she could finally concentrate on the MMPI.

"Alright class, just to make sure you were paying attention. I'll be distributing a pop quiz, if you were attentive in class it shouldn't take you very long." The professor assured as he handed Ryan Collins a huge stack of papers and instructed him to pass them around.

"Damn it" Spencer breathed as Ryan handed her a quiz.

"Don't sweat it. At least in a a few day's we'll be at homecoming and out of this boring place" Ryan smiled and continued passing out the papers. Spencer sighed well aware she was not prepared for homecoming let alone this quiz.

Later that same afternoon Ashley and Spencer were cruising down the highway with the windows down and the radio blaring. Spencer allowed the wind to rush through her hair and felt completely liberated. Ashley had one hand on the steering wheel and the other hanging out of the window.

"God I love this weather" Ashley commented as she moved her free hand in a wave motion through the air.

"Me too" Spencer commented moving a stray piece of hair from her mouth. Spencer looked over at Ashley and couldn't help but smile. Every time she was upset Ashley was there to make her feel better, every time she wanted to escape from reality or cry Ashley was there tissues in hand. Spencer couldn't get over her luck in finding such a great friend.

Spencer relaxed into the seat and closed her eyes as Ashley merged off of the parkway towards Spencer's house.

"Spence" Ashley began lowering the radio. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, of course" Spencer responded opening one eye and looking towards Ashley "What's up? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah it's fine. I was just wondering why you called Ryan last night right after everything you told me?"

Spencer sighed and opened both eyes and raised a hand to block the sun "I told you Ash, I'm just not ready to deal with who I am yet. I mean Ryan's good looking and nice so maybe I would like him. I can't just write people off without giving them a chance."

"I understand that" Ashley said as she flicked on her blinker and turned down Spencer's street. "But I hate seeing you hurt like this."

"Ashley, I'm fine" Spencer assured her as Ashley put the car in park outside the Carlin's home.

"I know you're worried I'm going to do something stupid again but those days are over." Spencer placed a hand on Ashley's "However, my life would end really quickly if she ever found this" Spencer riffled through the pocket of her sweatshirt and pulled out a rainbow colored envelope. "Signature Jamie letter, she sent it to school" Spencer explained once she saw the confusion on Ashley's face.

"Oh, did she respond to your letter?" Ashley questioned.

"Nah, not the latest one. I haven't sent it yet. She's responding to the last letter I sent her. I just described how I felt about you and Madison to her. So she'll probably comment on my sexuality anyway." Spencer smiled "Thats why I love her. She knows me so well." Spencer said as she folded the letter back into her pocket and opened the door of Ashley's porsche.

"Okay, well I'll see you tomorrow then." Ashley said as put her car back into drive. "I love you, Spencer. And I can't wait for everyone else to love you for who you are". Ashley looked at Spencer for a few seconds before speeding off down the street.

Spencer watched Ashley's car for a few moments before turning towards her front door. She slowly walked up the path way and went straight to her room. Right as Spencer turned the doorknob to her room she felt her phone vibrating from her pocket.

"Madison?" Spencer asked as she clumsily answered her phone.

"Hey Spencer can we talk?" Madison's voice was shaky with the remnants of tears.

"Of course" Spencer said as she unzipped her sweatshirt and threw it to the ground. "I'm always here for you"

"It's about Aiden." Madison began.

And just like that Spencer listened to Madison cry and cry about her life and her boyfriend troubles. Part of Spencer wanted to scream at Madison for talking about Aiden but the other half was dying for Madison to talk to her. Madison could have talked to Spencer about spider webs for three hours and Spencer would still be hanging on her every word.

An hour later Spencer hung up with Madison and laid in her bed. She secretly hoped and prayed for Madison to break up with Aiden because it was getting really hard to listen to her talk about him constantly.

It was friday afternoon and makeup, hair products and empty dress bags lined the floor of Madison Duarte's luxurious room. Four teenaged girls were scattered around the vanity applying lip stick and touch ups to their make up.

"How do I look?" Crystal Adams asked fluffing her red curly hair.

"Great" Rachel Daniels answered applying a shade of pink to her lips. "We are all going to look so sexy tonight. I can't wait!"

"Has anyone seen Chelsea and Emily?" Madison asked reapplying her mascara.

"I think they're getting a flask of vodka to be honest" Spencer giggled as she adjusted the strap on the white dress she and Madison picked out.

"They're going to get caught" Madison rolled her eyes. "Besides Aiden is already bringing some alcohol with him tonight."

"When are the boys getting her?" Crystal asked.

"Uhm they should have been here ten minutes ago so I'm assuming soon" Madison replied. "We still need group pictures before we can even go to homecoming!"

A few minutes passed as the girls continued to primp their hair and spray perfume in an attempt to make this night amazing.

"Guys" A dark skinny girl walked into the room accompanied by an even skinner and taller bleach blonde girl "The limo just pulled up."

"Thanks Emily! Oh and Chelsea, give me the flask."

The taller girl handed over the flask and sheepishly looked to the ground. "You know you're going to get caught. Aiden's bringing stuff so don't worry. Anyway, Madison looked back at Spencer and reached out a hand "We need to get going!"

By the time the girls reached the front lawn all six guys were standing outside waiting. Aiden was dressed in a tux with a light blue tie matching Madison's dress, Ryan was holding a corsage and the other four guys matched their girlfriends well. It was obvious the girls had picked out the tux's and accessories for their dates.

"Hey" Ryan said as he took a step towards Spencer. "I hope you're not allergic to flowers because then I'd just feel like an idiot". He blushed as he fumbled with opening the box that contained the corsage.

"No, you lucked out! If you had taken my brother Glenn though you'd be sending him to the emergency room! He's deathly allergic to flowers!" Spencer replied as she stretched out her arm.

"Well, I'm glad you asked me to the dance and your brother didn't!" Ryan chuckled and fastened the corsage to her wrist. "I mean he's got the whole star-athlete thing going for him but I'm much more interested in this beauty standing in front of me" Ryan took in Spencer's appearance and smiled.

"Twist" He urged her by lifting one of her arms into the air. Spencer obliged and as she turned she caught sight of Madison and Aiden posing for a couple picture. The wind was slightly blowing Madison's hair back and her dress accentuated her curves which made her look more like a model on a runway than a girl going to homecoming.

Spencer became completely lost in the beauty of Madison and forgot she was in the process of turning until she felt Ryan's clammy hand twisting her back to reality.

"Woah" Ryan whistled "You look absolutely stunning tonight."

"Thanks." Spencer replied as she shot a glance over her shoulder towards Madison and whispered "So do you"

"Alright everyone!" Announced Rachel. "It's time for the group photo!"

An hour, 100 photos and a few shots later the group of twelve finally arrived at the dance.

They all, by some divine intervention, made it through the line of teachers checking for drunk students and made their way towards their table. Spencer and Ryan were just about to set down their coats and Spencer's purse when Madison stopped her.

"Oh no darling" She exclaimed "You're staying right next to me the whole night" She winked and picked up Spencer's belongings and moved them to the seat next to her own.

"Madison!" Ryan whined "I wanted to sit next to her!"

"Well tough luck Ryan! I set you up with her I can take you away!" Madison glared at Ryan then turned to Spencer and slurred, "Tonight, is guaranteed to be a time we don't remember with the friends we will never forget!"She then tugged Spencer out onto the dance floor.

Spencer laughed and followed Madison without question. For about an hour the two girls danced to every song that the D.J. played. Even when the slow dances came on they stayed on the floor and swayed back and forth with one another. Ryan and Aiden would occasionally walk up to the two and Madison and Spencer would indulge their presence for a while before breaking away and grinding with one another again.

Spencer couldn't have been happier when she finally settled down into her seat propping her aching feet on the chair next to her.

"Damn" Madison cried slumping into the seat next to Spencer "You know how to dance girl."

"It's the wanna be cheerleader in me" Spencer flashed a cheery smile and took a long sip from her water glass.

"Haha. Girl, you should try out next year!" Madison said as she kicked off her high heels and rubbed her feet.

"You know what's weird?" Spencer glanced at Madison. "I haven't seen Ashley all night. Did she decide not to come or something?" Madison asked meeting Spencer's eyes.

"Oh my God" Spencer's mouth fell open as she realized she hadn't seen Ashley all night either. The last she heard was that Ashley was going to her ambassador friends house before homecoming. "Shit. I hope she's okay" Spencer frantically dug around in her white bag for her cell phone.

"She has to be here somewhere" Madison claimed looking over towards the dance floor. "It's so dark in here she probably just hasn't found you yet" Madison reassured Spencer as she placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I don't know" Spencer sighed taking the Purell, camera and tissues out of her bag. "Thank God" Spencer exclaimed as she found her blackberry under her wallet and immediately checked her messages.

"There's one new text from Ashley sent over two hours ago" Spencer told Madison as she read the message to herself hastily.

It read "**Hey Spence. I'm not sure what happened to me but I was helping set up for the dance earlier and I think I got food poisoning. That'll teach me to never assume the green mashed potatoes were just festive. So I won't be at homecoming after all :( But have fun! Could you still come over tonight after Homecoming? I don't really want to be alone!"**

"It's just food poisoning" Spencer explained to Madison with a sigh. Then she quickly responded to Ashley with a "**Of course I will! I hope you feel better the dance isn't the same without you! 3"**

"Now that we know Ashley's okay. I think it's time for round two of the dancing! With our dates this time" Madison laughed as Ryan and Aiden approached the two girls with drinks in their heads for each of them.

"Thanks" Spencer said as she sipped the obviously spiked punch from the cup. "You're a sweetheart she claimed as she lead him out onto the dance floor leaving her phone and Ashley's message forgotten on the table.

Three hours later at around 1 in the morning the dance was winding down. Both Madison and Spencer had spent the whole night dancing, laughing and drinking. Spencer hadn't gone back to the table once since she and Madison got up for "round two" of dancing.

"Alright all you young lovers." The DJ's voice flooded the speakers in a manner similar to those love radio stations on late at night. "Grab someone you care about because this is the last dance of the night".

Madison stopped dancing with Aiden and looked directly at Spencer. Spencer broke away from Ryan's grasp and watched as Madison began to break up all the couples. Ryan, Spencer, herself Aiden, Crystal, Rachel, Emily, Chelsea and their respective dates were all standing next to each other. At first everyone was confused until they realized Madison was creating an extremely large circle.

"I care about all of you" She exclaimed as she motioned for everyone to put their arms around the person next to them. As "100 Years" by Five for Fighting came on everyone began to sway back and forth to the lyrics.

Spencer watched as her friends all seemed to stop worrying about how they looked, who was watching them and how they would be perceived. Everyone seemed to truly embrace the music and the message of love that the band was preaching. Spencer recognized that this moment was one she would remember for the rest of her life. She became lost in thoughts about her new friends and her new experiences that she was shocked when the lights flickered on signaling the end of the dance.

"Well that was fun!" Shouted Madison who was half death from the speakers blaring all night. "You're coming back to my house tonight right Spence?" Madison asked.

"Yeah, come on Spence. You should definitely come!" Ryan urged her with a pout.

"I didn't know I was invited!" Spencer confessed nervously pushing a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Of course you're always invited!" Madison said as she linked Spencer's arm and started pulling her towards the table. "Now get your stuff and get back in the limo! How did you think you were getting home? Walking?" Madison asked as she watched Spencer adorn her coat and pick up her purse.

"I had to do that the last dance I went to!" Spencer replied honestly walking towards the exit. Madison looked at her with compassion etched in her face and said "Well, you're with me now and that means we ride in style" Madison laughed and laced hands with Spencer as she lead her into the limo with Ryan and Aiden following behind.

Spencer placed her purse on the seat next to her and turned towards Madison. "What's the plan for tonight?"

"To have the best night of your life" Madison replied handing Spencer a coke infused with vodka.

"I'm so in!" Spencer claimed as she tilted the can back and took a hearty swig.

At that moment Ryan stumbled next to her and took a gulp out of his own mixed drink then haphazardly plopped down next to Spencer. In his haste to sit next to her he knocked her pursue to the floor which made her phone slide all the way to the back of the limo. Right before the phone disappeared under the seat it made a feeble ring and received one last call from the contact: Ashley.

**:)**


	10. Experience

**A/N: Hey everyone! Thanks for the reviews. This chapter I'm sure is going to piss some people off 0:) but I'm in the process of telling a bigger story! Don't give up hope yet. And please please please keep reviewing I love reading what you guys have to say.**

**Also, Your Relentless Lover: if you didn't hate me for the last chapter you'll definitely hate me for this one! Enjoy :P **

**The random B's are to symbolize breaks in time!**

"Everyone circle around" Madison motioned to the large group occupying the massive living room. "Put down your drinks. It's time to play a good old game of never have I ever."

Spencer removed herself from the overstuffed armchair she and Ryan had been sharing and walked towards Madison. "What's never have I ever?" She asked in a low whisper making sure nobody could hear her. She didn't want to seem uncool.

"It's simple" Madison said as she held up all of her ten fingers. "Someone says something they've never done and if you've done it you put a finger down. For instance never have I ever...". Madison stalled and furrowed her brow for a moment. "Well, there's not much I haven't done" Madison claimed "But pretend someone says, "I don't have a black brother". You'd put one finger down because you DO have a black brother" Madison explained as she folded down one manicured finger towards her palm. "It's really pretty simple! Just watch and learn."

Madison took a seat in the middle of the large wrap around couch and called Spencer to sit next to her. Spencer slowly crossed the floor ladened with crushed beer cans, red solo cups and, to Spencer's surprise, a leopard print bra.

"I guess things got a little nuts" Spencer said gesturing towards the bra on the floor.

"At least there's no panties to match" Madison said as she tilted her head to get a better look at the bra. "In fact, I'm pretty sure that's Crystal's bra." Madison laughed.

"When are we starting?" Chelsea cried from the other end of the couch.

"Now" Madison answered, "Chelsea you ask the first question"

"Hmm" Chelsea looked around the arm carefully then said, "Never have I ever streaked"

Spencer watched as half the room folded down their fingers including Madison. "Really?" Madison nudged Spencer. "You've never streaked before?"

"No" Spencer hung her head slightly. "I lived a pretty tamed life back home."

"Luckily for you" Madison replied titling Spencer's face towards her own. "I'm here to spice it up"

"My turn!" Madison shouted leaving Spencer slightly stunned. "Never have I ever...Drove naked!"

The only finger to fold down was Aiden's. He sheepishly looked at everyone and explained, "It was a dare! But now it's my turn." Aiden thought for a moment before saying "Never have I ever had sex in a lake."

A few more fingers folded down and the game progressed in this manner for the next half an hour. The game was down to Madison, Spencer and Ryan. Aiden and the rest of the guys had all pretty much gotten out ten questions into the game.

Spencer had two fingers left and Madison and Ryan both had one.

"It's your turn Spencer" Ryan urged.

Spencer thought for a few moments about how best to get Ryan out of the game. He had just targeted her with the question "Never have I ever lived in Ohio" so Spencer was trying to extract revenge.

"Okay. I got something." Spencer shifted her position and looked Ryan directly in the eye and said, "Never have I ever made out with a girl."

Ryan cursed under his breath and slowly put down his only remaining finger, which happened to be the middle one. "Next game I'm targeting you!" Ryan warned Spencer.

"Alright Madison, it's your turn" Spencer said turning towards her friend. But Madison wasn't paying attention to the game. She was starring with her eyes wide towards the corner of the room. Spencer followed her gaze and her eyes landed on a very old fashioned clock. It took a few seconds but Spencer was able to decipher the time as exactly 7 in the morning. She looked back at Madison just in time to hear her say "Shit. It's seven in the morning? I hate to do this to you guys but my parents get back from France within the hour. You all need to leave now!"

As soon as the words left her mouth there was a stampede of well-dressed teenagers headed towards the door. Ryan sprang up from the couch pecked Spencer on the check and said "Call me tomorrow?" before joining the crowd.

Madison was busy ushering everyone out of the living room and Spencer was just about to leave when she noticed the mess. "_There's no way she can clean this by herself in an hour" _Spencer thought. So, she dropped her coat and grabbed a black garbage bag that was hanging off a chair in the kitchen.

Spencer had experience in cleaning houses hastily before and she had her brother Glenn to thank for it. He would always throw parties, pass out in the bathroom and leave Spencer to clean up the mess. One time she cleaned her entire basement back in Ohio in under ten minutes. Her Dad had gotten the flu in the middle of their vacation and her parents didn't call until they were a few blocks from home. To this day Spencer doesn't know how she cleaned the basement so quickly.

So, once Spencer saw the mess she immediately began stuffing empty cans, bottles and cups into the garbage can. She picked up the knocked over coffee table and fixed the cushions on the wrap around couch. By the time Spencer noticed Madison standing in the doorway the room was nearly immaculate.

"How long do we have?" Spencer frantically asked a surprisingly serene Madison.

"Oh sweetie" Madison cooed and sat down on the love seat. "My parents aren't coming back from their trip until Tuesday"

Spencer froze in the middle of throwing away a half eaten mini hot dog. "Oh okay"

"Yeah. I just wanted to be alone" Madison explained. "It's not often that I get the house to myself without anyone in it!"

"I'm so sorry. I just thought I could help out. I'll leave right now" Spencer stuttered as she began to round up her stuff. "If I could just find my phone" She mumbled rifling through her purse.

"Noo. I don't mind you staying. I actually like having you here. I just didn't feel like dealing with so many people. So come here!" Madison said as she patted the seat next to her indicating Spencer to sit down.

Spencer leaned the half full garbage can on the couch so it wouldn't spill and took her seat next to Madison.

"So Miss Ohio" Madison began "You've never made out with a girl?" Madison raised her eyebrows.

Spencer looked at Madison in shock. "_Why the hell would she have brought that up" Spencer thought _folding her hands on her lap and trying to calm her nerves before she responded "No, I really haven't".

"How did you learn to make out then!" Madison questioned Spencer placing a hand on Spencer's shoulder.

"Uhm" Spencer began to blush. "I've never been very confident about my making out skills, to be honest." Spencer glanced nervously at Madison hand resting on her left shoulder. She didn't know what to make of this situation.

"Why aren't you confident?" Madison scooted a little bit closer causing Spencer's breath to hitch. "Didn't you do a lot with your boyfriend James back in high school?" Madison cocked her head to the side and wanted for Spencer to shake her head no before saying "Well, you've made out before right?"

"Yeah, I mean of course" Spencer heart began to race. "But I always made some excuse and left before it got too serious"

"You didn't make out with Ryan?"

"No" Spencer explained, "He thinks I'm playing hard to get but I'm actually just nervous. He's had SO much experience compared to me" Spencer glanced at Madison and watched her slowly lick her bottom lip.

"Well" Madison whispered leaning her head closer towards Spencer. "I'll give you a little bit of experience then."

It took every shred of self-restraint for Spencer not to scream "are you serious?" as she saw Madison's face getting closer to her own. Spencer's heart began to race and Madison slightly smiled at Spencer before she closed her eyes and leaned even closer.

"_Oh my god" Spencer's thoughts screamed, "This can't be real. What the hell do I do? Should I turn my head away, I don't think I'm ready for this!" _

But before Spencer could turn her head Madison's soft lips had touched her own and all thoughts of turning away had left Spencer's mind. For a few seconds Spencer was in complete shock then relaxed into Madison's touch. Madison moved her hand from Spencer's shoulder to her knee and shifted their position to better reach her lips.

They stayed like that for a few more seconds before Spencer felt Madison's tongue graze the bottom of her lip. Spencer's heart began to go even faster and she was sure she was going to have a heart attack when Madison's tongue entered her mouth. Slowly Madison instructed Spencer what to do with her tongue. Right as Spencer began to take control and explore Madison's mouth the other girl pulled away leaving Spencer stunned.

"You have nothing to worry about, Chica!" Madison removed her hand from Spencer's knee and ran it through her own hair. "Damn, I gotta shower this hair spray is itching my head!"

"Huh?" was the only sound Spencer could formulate as she watched Madison get up from the love seat. She grabbed a towel from the linen closet and flitted up the stairs leaving Spencer alone with her thoughts.

Spencer relaxed into the cushions and touched a hand to her lips. If it wasn't for the abnormal warmth and smell of Madison's berry lip gloss she would have been sure it was just a dream.

Spencer let out a loud sigh closed her eyes and uttered, "What have I gotten myself into!" before drifting off into an uncomfortable sleep.

**B**

"Spencer...Spencer." Spencer groaned and opened one eye slightly to see Madison standing before her. "_Oh" Spencer thought "It was a dream"_

"Morning sleepy head" Madison smiled "Or should I say afternoon!"

"What?" Spencer mumbled throwing a hand over her eyes to shield them from the sunlight. "_It seemed so real last night. I can still taste the berries on my lips, could I really be THAT delusional" Spencer thought.._

"Spence!" Madison called again "Get up. The limo service dropped this off for you"

Spencer felt something hard hit her in the shoulder and she turned over to see Madison completely dressed. Her hair was styled, her jeans were fitted and her top...well let's just say Spencer couldn't stop staring at her top.

"It's your phone you idiot!" Madison explained the object that had hit Spencer's shoulder. "You apparently left it in the limo somehow. You're lucky. The only reason they returned it is because my Dad and the owner of the service are good friends."

Spencer turned over, rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and picked up her cell phone. It had 8 missed calls and nearly a dozen text messages. Spencer furrowed her brow as Madison continued "Apparently the damn thing wouldn't stop ringing so they dropped it off this morning. I tried waking you a few hours after I took my shower" "_Her shower" Spencer began to get excited "Maybe we did hook up last night." Spencer reasoned as she continued to listen to Madison._

"... but you were dead asleep" Madison continued. "I guess I wore you out" She winked and Spencer couldn't stop a broad smile coming to her face. She did in fact make out with Madison Duarte last night and she couldn't be more proud.

"Well I was so good you had to take a shower right after" Spencer retorted lightly punching Madison's shoulder. The other girl just smirked and said, "Want breakfast?"

"Yeah" Spencer said as she walked towards the hall mirror. "Damn." Spencer exclaimed as she took in her messy hair, wrinkled gown, smudged mascara and swollen lips. "Nevermind on that I need to shower!"

"Hey" Madison called "Take your phone this time! You don't want to lose it again." Madison walked over to the couch and threw Spencer her phone.

"Thanks" Spencer answered as she grabbed a towel from the closet and walked upstairs. She headed into the bathroom and immediately turned on the hot water. She put a hand to her head and finally looked down at her phone that read 2:38 . "Oh shit" Spencer mumbled realizing she hadn't checked her missed calls and texts yet.

The first two were from her mother demanding for her to call or she was notifying the police. Spencer quickly texted her "**Sorry Mom. Spent the night at Madison's and I had left my phone in the limo. I'll be back in a few hours! No need to notify the police! Love you!"**

Spencer smiled slightly at how angry her mother would be at her when she got home. She'd yell at her for not calling then hug her and say how glad she is that she's safe.

Unfortunately Spencer's smile faded as she realized the next ten text messages were all from Ashley. "Oh no." Spencer breathed as she read the first text "**hey is homecoming over?"** Spencer groaned and put a hand to her head. "Damn it!" She exclaimed "I forgot all about Ashley" She said as she read on "**It's 2. Homecoming has GOT to be over by now." **

Spencer cringed as read the progression of texts. **"I'm worried about you please text me back it's 2:45!". **The steam from the shower began to fog the screen so Spencer stepped into the hallway to read the rest. "**If you don't text me back soon I'm going to assume you got into a car crash or something." "I'm worried because if you were actually okay and just ignoring me I feel you'd answer your texts." "Last chance to answer or I'm calling someone" **

Spencer's heart dropped thinking about how frantic Ashley must have been. Spencer knew Ashley was worried about Spencer because it was her first dance since the Sarah incident. Ashley hadn't heard from Spencer all night so OF COURSE she'd be worried something bad happened.

"**I'm calling the hospital" "Well, good news you're not in the hospital. So where the hell are you? I've called you four times!" "Spencer, I'm really worried about you!" "It's 5 in the morning. Text me so I know you're okay please?"**

As soon as she read the last text Spencer immediately started to text Ashley back "**Hey Ash. I'm sooo sorry. I spent the night at Madison's and left my phone in the limo. But I have something really amazing to tell you! I didn't mean to make you worry!" ** Spencer exited out of her texts and went back into the bathroom. The heat from the steam felt really good on Spencer's cold body and she quickly shed her clothes. She placed her phone on the far corner or the room and figured Ashley would reply by the time Spencer got out of the shower.

Spencer allowed the warm water to hit her body and let her mind to wander. She thought about how well last night had turned out and secretly loved that Madison brought up their encounter this morning. She couldn't help herself from thinking about Madison's face as she shampooed her hair, she couldn't stop remembering the taste of her lips as she washed her body and nothing could prevent her from thinking about what occurred last night as she conditioned her hair.

After a good hour Spencer hopped out of the shower and dragged the towel around herself. She let her hair flow freely down her back and bounded to the other side of the bathroom to retrieve her phone and clothes. She then went into a side bedroom and flung herself onto the bed. As she waited for herself to dry off a little Spencer looked at her phone. She was surprised to see that Ashley hadn't texted her back yet. But she just rationalized that Ashley must be busy.

"Madison" Spencer called "Do you have clothes I could borrow. I don't really feel like doing a walk of shame in my dress from last night"

"What do you have to be ashamed of!" Madison replied from the hallway causing Spencer to gasp.

"Woah, chill girl. I was just getting my i-pod from my room" Madison smiled and motioned to her left hand holding a silver ipod. "I also got you these." Madison stretched out her right hand revealing a blue shirt black hoody and gray sweats.

"Thanks" Spencer said pulling the towel tightly around her body. She was suddenly very aware that it was the only thing stopping herself from being completely naked...in Madison's house...on one of Madison's beds...

"Your welcome!" Madison's cheery voiced brought Spencer back to reality. "Hurry up. Breakfast's getting cold" And with that Madison disappeared down the stairs once more and Spencer let out a haggard breathe.

"She's going to kill me" Spencer whispered as put on her underwear and dragged on the sweat pants.

Before she put on her shirt she checked her phone again. Still no messages from Ashley. Spencer bit her lip and slid on Madison's blue cheerleading shirt. Spencer collected her hair and put it into a messy bun before putting on Madison's sweatshirt.

Spencer grabbed her phone put it in her pocket and went to the bathroom to hang up her wet towel. As soon as she walked into the room she caught sight of herself in the mirror. Spencer wiped off the excess steam and noticed she was wearing Madison's championship Cheerleading sweatshirt. It had "Madison" scrawled across the top right of the sweatshirt and KING HIGH in bold across the chest. Spencer smiled slightly at her reflection then walked downstairs to meet Madison.

**B**

"Damn that was good!" Spencer exclaimed putting her fork down on her plate causing the remnants of eggs and pancakes to scatter.

"Yeah. You learn how to cook pretty well when your parents forget to feed you" Madison smiled a sad smile leaving Spencer unsure of what to say.

"Aiden and I are fighting" Madison stated and Spencer, relieved at the topic change, directed her full attention towards Madison. "He's just not the same as he used to be." Madison continued pushing a half eaten pancake around her plate. "I've felt this for awhile, but it's just SO familiar it's hard to break away from him. I just don't feel like he's making me happy anymore."

Spencer sighed and grabbed Madison's hand. "If he isn't making you happy then don't stay with him. You can become familiar with anyone in time. Don't settle because you're way too amazing to be settling." Spencer finished blushing slightly with her last comment.

"I guess. It's just hard to describe why I stay with him" Madison looked at her plate. She took her fork and forcibly cut the rest of the pancake in half. "Ugh". She turned and brought her plate to the sink and Spencer followed her.

"You don't have to explain that to me. It's the same reason I stayed with James all that time. It's because it's easy and comfortable. But I ended it and I couldn't be happier because I can move on to people who actually love me."

Madison merely said "Thanks Spence" indicating she was done with the conversation. Spencer respected Madison's wishes and looked at her phone. There was no new text messages besides one from her mother saying "**Fine. Be home by 7. Dad's cooking Mexican again". **Spencer then shifted her eyes to the time reading 4:52.

"Damn it." Spencer sighed. "Do you think you could drive me to Ashley's? She's not answering my texts and I know she was sick last night. I just really want to check on her." Spencer concluded carefully making sure she didn't offend Madison. She knew Ashley hated Madison but from what Spencer could tell she thought Madison actually liked Ashley.

"Sure" was all Madison said as she reached to retrieve her car keys from the hook on the far side of the kitchen. Spencer grabbed her dress and slipped on her homecoming shoes, for lack of a better option, and followed Madison to her SUV.

"Okay" Spencer said as soon as she was settled in "I'm not exactly sure how to get to Ashley's from here but I know you merge onto.." But before she could finish Madison cut her off.

"Hun, I've known the way to Ashley's way longer than you have. We used to be best friends remember?" Madison laughed and turned the key in the ignition revving the engine.

"Oh right" Spencer recollected as Madison peeled out of the driveway and down the street.

Ten minutes later they pulled up outside of Ashley's absurdly large home. Spencer always marveled at how rich Ashley was and couldn't believe this was her lifestyle.

"Thanks" Spencer waved at Madison. Madison lingered in the driveway for a few seconds. She was starring blankly at the house. Spencer could've sworn she saw a glimpse of pain on Madison's face before she sped off down the street.

Spencer slowly made her way to the front door. "_I hope Ashley's not mad" _was the only thought occupying Spencer's mind as she walked the familiar path. "_I'm sure she'll understand" _Spencer reassured herself as she took the front steps two at a time. "_Maybe she'll even be happy for me!" _Spencer reasoned and pushed the doorbell.

A few moments later the door opened partially revealing a slightly disheveled Ashley.

"Hi" Spencer whispered as she watched Ashley's eyes travel from Spencer's messy hair, to Madison's cheerleading sweatshirt and finally to her heels from last night.

"Oh it's you" Ashley spat and let go of the door so it slammed in Spencer's face.

"_Or not" S_pencer thought as she starred at the recently closed door.


	11. Where Do We Go From Here?

**A/N: I used asterisks on certain curse words cuz I felt bad using the F word and having it rated Teen! haha As always tell me what you guys think! The stories starting to wind down so just please give me your thoughts! **

"Damn it" Spencer whispered and slammed her fist against Ashley's recently closed door.

She turned around and took a seat on the steps leading up to the door. She raised her head to the sky and noticed it had grown from a pleasant blue to a threatening gray. There were large dark clouds coming closer and closer towards the sun. Spencer reckoned a big storm was on its way. She just wished that Ashley would let her in before the heavens opened up and ruined her fancy shoes.

After ten more minutes of contemplating the weather patterns Spencer got up and approached the door. "This time" Spencer rationed "I won't stop until she answers me"

Spencer took a deep breath and then rang the doorbell. She listened to the chime pierce the otherwise silent house. She waited a few moments and strained her ears for the sound of footsteps. When she realized they weren't coming Spencer rang the doorbell again, and again. She knocked and kept ringing until eventually she heard a sound.

Spencer stopped knocking and listened to the familiar melody flooding the air. She recognized almost immediately it was the song "F*ck You" by Cee Lo Green. As determined, as Spencer was to get Ashley to open the door she couldn't help but smile slightly at Ashley's choice of music.

"Fine. If you won't open the front door I'll find another way in." Spencer screamed causing an elderly neighbor taking out the garbage to stare.

"Sorry" Spencer mumbled raising one hand to the old women in an apologetic manner and slowly walked to Ashley's side door. Spencer tried the handle on the side door but it was to no avail. It seemed Ashley had locked every single door and window in the house.

Spencer sighed with frustration and ran a hand through her hair. She looked around the side yard and her eyes fell open a ceramic frog. Its mouth was open and its tongue was outstretched with a single fake fly on the end. Spencer pulled her eyebrows together and thought about how out of place this frog seemed.

A small smile began to play on the edge of Spencer's lips as she walked towards the frog. She grasped the head and said "Thank god that spare keys are always under extremely obvious objects" as she turned the frog over revealing a silver key taped to the bottom. "I mean really. If I can break into a house, how could a thief not be able to?"

Spencer grabbed the key, returned the frog to its rightful place and unlocked the door. As Spencer made her way towards the stair case all she could hear were the lyrics "I see you driving 'round town with the girl I love and I'm like, F*ck you! I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough I'm like, F*ck you! And f*ck her too!"

Spencer took the stairs slowly waiting for the song to finish before she opened Ashley's door. As she reached the top of the steps the music was slowly fading out. Spencer realized it was now or never for her to knock on Ashley's door. She took one more calming breath, approached the door and flung it open.

Spencer saw Ashley on the side of her bed crouched over her laptop. Her heart began to break when she noticed Ashley's frame was shaking with sobs. Spencer couldn't believe how hysterical Ashley was and she felt the sudden urge to wrap her arms around her weeping friend.

Spencer, unbeknownst to Ashley, slowly made her way towards the side of Ashley's bed. As soon as Spencer grasped Ashley's shoulder the song ""I Hate Everything About You" by Three Days Grace infiltrated the air. For a moment Spencer wondered if Ashley had made an "I hate Spencer" playlist but was quickly brought back to reality when Ashley violently shook Spencer's hand away from her.

"How the hell did you get in here?" Ashley spat putting as much distance as possible between herself and Spencer.

"I uhm" Spencer stuttered deeply disturbed by Ashley's devastated appearance "found the spare key." Spencer finished with a look of concern spreading over her face. "Ash, what's wrong?"

Ashley lip slowly curled as she repeated Spencer's question, "What's wrong? What's wrong? Are you kidding me?" Ashley seethed as she took a step towards Spencer. Spencer nervously took a step backwards. She'd never seen Ashley so upset before.

"I, just, I'm sorry...I didn't mean to blow you off Ash" Spencer stammered and began to wring her fingers. It was a nervous habit that Spencer had developed as a child. Any time she was in a situation that she didn't know how to handle she'd play with her fingers.

"Yeah. Just like I'm sure you didn't mean to blow off Jamie when you were with Sarah all the time"

"Hey" Spencer said gaining some confidence "that was a low blow. You know the circumstances."

"Whatever Spencer. I don't care that you're in _love_ with Madison" Ashley put air quotes around the word love. "You've no right in blowing me off. And completely abandoning me, especially when I was sick!" Ashley cried.

"Ash" Spencer said lifting her hands slightly so it resembled a prisoner surrendering. "You know I didn't mean to do that. I was drunk and I got caught up in everything that was going on. I was a horrible friend. I didn't think it would upset you this much. You know I love you!"

Ashley smirked at Spencer's last words and said "You know what. Madison is going to do the exact same thing that Sarah did. She is going to ruin you." Ashley warned.

"What the hell" Spencer retorted getting angry at all this talk about Sarah. "Madison is not Sarah. She won't hurt me like Sarah did."

"Oh yeah" Ashley replied, "You're just a naive little farm girl. You're telling me that Madison hasn't tried anything with you?" Ashley questioned studying Spencer's face.

"She has, hasn't she" Ashley continued noticing Spencer was frozen to her spot. "What'd she do? Wait, lemme guess. She kissed you?"

Spencer took half a step backwards with her mouth half open. "I'm right" Ashley grinned, "You just wait. She will break your heart."

"Shut up" Spencer yelled "You just hate Madison because she picked Aiden over you. And you know what I can see why she did. You're too clingy." Ashley's face fell.

"Clingy?" Ashley whispered "Oh, Spence. I am FAR from clingy. All I'm trying to do is protect you! And you have no idea how good of a friend I have been to Madison."

"A good friend!" Spencer replied, "How could you ever dilute yourself enough to think that?" Spencer questioned "You're just jealous because I picked Madison over you and you know that she's a good person. You're just too childish to admit that she is mature and considerate. All you are is spiteful and jealous and now I understand why Madison isn't your friend anymore."

Ashley looked like Spencer had shoved a knife through her heart. "You bitch" Ashley whispered before she crossed her room and grabbed Spencer by the wrists. "Sit down" Ashley screamed and forced Spencer towards her bed.

Spencer cringed as she hit the bed and was just about to get up when Ashley turned to her and said, "You have absolutely no idea who the real Madison is and now I don't feel bad telling you." Spencer rolled her eyes and Ashley continued.

"The reason Madison and I stopped being friends is because she chose Aiden over me but it's not what you think." Spencer turned her heads toward Ashley and began to listen attentively. "Madison and I were best friends. We did everything together from shopping, to taking dance lessons and to sleeping over each others houses so often I'd forget which house was mine. We were so close, she knew everything about me and I knew everything about her." Ashley took a deep breath.

"But one night everything changed. I had invited Madison to spend the night at my house because my mom was out with one of her boyfriends and my dad was on tour. We could have the entire house to ourselves and that meant going to sleep as late as we wanted, eating everything and just having a great night" Ashley looked lost in thought for a moment before adding "Or so I thought."

Spencer gripped the edge of the bed spread tightly. She found herself extremely anxious to hear what Ashley had to say next.

"You know that field through the trees on the edge of my yard?" Ashley asked.

Spencer stiffly nodded indicating for Ashley to go on.

"Well, I had heard on the news that there was supposed to be a meteor shower that night so I made hot chocolate and Madison and I went to look at the stars."

"_Wait, this sounds familiar" _Spencer thought but she was sure Ashley had never mentioned this story before.

"...So we had been out there for about two hours when Madison started to claim she was getting cold. I had only brought one sleeping bag for myself and about ten blankets for Madison. But she insisted she was freezing and that she thought the sleeping bag would be warmer. So I offered to let her use mine while I braved the cold with blankets. But she told me that she'd just get in with me." Ashley sighed "so I moved over and Madison laid next to me."

Spencer's heart began to race because it sounded like something Madison had done to Spencer before. Madison had a way of subtlety flirting it was enough to drive someone crazy.

"I liked the closeness of our bodies and I loved having someone next to me. We talked about everything that night. Feelings for boys, feelings for Aiden and" Ashley cracked her fingers nervously"...feelings for each other"

Spencer gasped but Ashley continued "I had always known there was something unusual going on between the two of us. But I just assumed it was because she was the first female best friend I ever had. Eventually Madison just looked into my eyes and I found myself starring at her lips. Before I knew what was even happening our lips and bodies were pressed together." Ashley let out a long sigh "I thought I was in love but I was 14 and impressionable. I got my first kiss that night and the next day she called Aiden and they've been dating ever since." Ashley lowered her head and looked into Spencer's eyes. The pain was obviously etched into her face.

Spencer's jaw flat out dropped. The room began to spin slightly and Spencer knew this was true. She suddenly remembered why the story sounded so familiar. Spencer could hear Madison's voice from a few months back saying, "_my first kiss was before Aiden. Someone I really cared about and we just spent the whole night lying in this field underneath the stars. I got my first kiss that night. I had just turned 14..."_

_How could I not have seen this? How could I not have known about this? _Spencer began to feel like she was going to throw up. _Madison was into girls. Madison may actually like me" _Spencer's grip on the bed spread loosened as she became aware of Ashley starring at her.

"Why did you tell me this sooner" Spencer croaked.

"Because Madison is manipulative. She doesn't mean it but that girl is so far in the closet she will never come out. I didn't want to give you false hope! We were just her gay experiments"

Suddenly another thought dawned on Spencer. "What do you mean WE were her gay experiments... wait…does that mean?" Spencer trailed off making eye contact with Ashley and Ashley bit her lip.

"Ashley" Spencer urged "What does that mean"

"Nothing" Ashley replied wrapping her arms around herself tightly. "But maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore."

"What?" Spencer exclaimed forgetting about her prior question "Ashley, I said everything out of anger. I didn't mean that I didn't want to be friends. I just didn't understand...and I honestly still am a little confused. But it's not that I don't want to be your friend!" Spencer finished hurriedly.

"That's not why" Ashley confessed taking a deep breath. "I mean it in more in the sense of why you told Sarah to stay away."

"...What?" Spencer asked completely confused. "How does that apply here! I'm sorry if you had some feelings for Madison I didn't mean to..."

"No Spencer" Ashley said cutting her off. She stood up straight, grabbed Spencer's hand looked directly into her big blue eyes and said softly

"It's because I'm in love with you, Spencer Carlin."

**A/N: I hoped you liked it! I told you there would finally be a hint of spashley **


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